Ghost Diaries
by Tonibolognie
Summary: Samantha Broker is Charming's newest resident and shop owner. Since the moment she has stepped foot in Charming, she was warned to stay away from SAMCRO; especially the heartbroken widower Jax Teller. No matter how much she tries, she keeps crossing SAMCRO's path. Soon, both she and Jax will head down a path that will lead to either death or redemption.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Samantha stood in front of the empty store front waiting for the Realtor to get there. She glanced down at her iPhone and noticed that the time had not moved since she last looked at her phone.

"Shit!" she said to herself.

The Realtor was 15 minutes late and Sam, as she liked to be called, was getting pissed.

She paced up and down a few of the store fronts, noticing that the street was not that crowded for a beautiful spring afternoon. Looking around the unfamiliar Main Street, she could see why the town got their name.

"Charming." She said as she looked into the barber shop on the corner. The barber was shaving another gentlemen's face. When he noticed Sam in the window, he gave her a pleasant but strained smile. Looking up at the sign for _Floyd's Barber Shop_, she assumed that the barber was indeed Floyd.

Sam smiled back and started walking back towards the empty store she was trying to rent. When she called the realtor last week and spoke of renting the space, she could hear a bit of surprise in his voice.

"Are you sure you want to?" asked Mike Forest of _Charming Realty_.

"Yes, I am sure. Why do you ask?"

After a few moments of awkward silence, Mike replied:

"Charming is not really a fan of out-siders."

Sam was not sure if she should take that as a warning or as threat. Either way, the rent was super cheap and there was not a coffee shop around for miles. She set the appointment up and got off the phone. However, she could not get the realtor's words out of her head.

Looking down at her phone again, she realized Mike was now twenty minutes late and Sam was beginning to fume.

Kicking a rock that was on the sidewalk, she made her way over to a bench. She noticed a newspaper stand next to the bench. She dug a quarter out of her pocket and got a copy of the _Charming Times_.

**SHERIFF AND LOCAL DOCTOR BRUTALLY MURDERED**

Sam sighed as she read the headline.

**Local MC President Arrested**

Before she could read any more about the case, she saw a pudgy bald man waddle over to the empty store.

"Mike Forest?" she called from the bench

The Realtor looked at Sam and nodded.

Sam stood up and met the man at the front door of the shop.

"Samantha Broker" she said as stuck out her hand.

Mike shock her hand and gave her a once over.

"Sorry I am late," he said. "We had a tragedy here in Charming this week. The funeral for the sheriff who was killed was this morning. "

Sam silently yelled at herself for getting impatient and pissed. She noticed Mike was dressed in a black suit and he looked upset. That was probably why Main Street was so destitute.

"I was just reading about the case in the paper. Do they have any leads?"

"Doctor's husband was arrested. President of the local MC here. He…"

"Wait," Sam said cutting him off. "MC?"

"Motorcycle club. Sons of Anarchy. Have you heard of them?" Mike asked suspiciously.

"No. I mean, I am not from these parts. I am from Tampa. Moved to Seattle two years ago and now I am looking for a fresh start somewhere else. "

Mike's gaze relaxed.

"Anyway, he is getting out. No evidence linking him," Mike said in a tone that made Sam think better of asking anymore questions.

Sam nodded and looked at the faded sign above the empty store. The sign looked weathered and bruised, but she could still make out the former occupant's name: _Impeccable Smokes._

"How long has the store been empty?" she asked.

"About 18 months," said Mike. "Like I said to you on the phone, Charming is not a big town for outsiders. You are born here and most of us die here. Not many people come from Seattle to rent stores."

"You have cheap rent." Sam quickly said as Mike got the key out of his briefcase and opened the front door. A bell rang overhead and Sam entered the dusty store. A thick coat of dust covered the overturned furniture and the room smelled of stale smoke. Cigar boxes littered the floor and something gold glittered by Sam's feet. When she bent down to pick it up, she saw that it was a bullet.

She held up the bullet and looked at Mike. He did not look surprised.

"Like I said Samantha, Charming is not a town for outsiders."

Sam looked around the store again and swallowed the nervous bile that was infiltrating her mouth. Bullets in stores, dead doctors and sheriffs and a motorcycle club; Welcome to Charming, she thought.

"I'll take it," She said.

She could not tell if the look at Mike's face was shock or pity. Either way, he gave her the lease to sign and showed her to the apartment above the store.

After she looked over the tiny studio apartment, signed the lease and took her keys, Mike said to her:

"Welcome to Charming. Don't say I didn't warn you."


	2. Chapter 2

It took Sam about a month to get the shop up and running. Every day she rose with the sun and did not go to sleep until well past midnight. There was so much to do to open the coffee shop. Between cleaning, ordering equipment, and even hiring a staff, Sam had little time to herself. The only thing that would snap her out of her trance was the sound of motorcycles coming up and down Main Street. From what Sam saw, the club occupied the ice cream shop on the other end of Main. Apparently, a bomb had destroyed their last club house. At least, that is what Sam had heard from the locals.

A week before the grand opening, Sam was in the back with the health inspector. Her only other full time employee, Margaret was in the front folding menus. Margaret had been an answer to a prayer for Sam. She came about a week after Sam arrived to answer the help wanted sign Sam had put in the storefront window. From what Sam knew of Margaret, she used to work at St. Thomas Hospital. She had been very close to the doctor- Tara- that had been killed. After Tara's death, Margaret could not go back to the hospital. Although Sam could not even pay her a fraction of what she had made at the hospital, Margaret seemed happy to have a distraction.

At first, Sam knew nothing about Margret. Sam did notice every time Margret heard the sounds of the motorcycles coming or going tears would form in her eyes.

"Margaret," Sam asked her about two weeks ago. "Are you ok?"

Margaret was staring out the window, watching the men on bikes ride out of town.

"He killed her." She said without turning around.

"He may not have stabbed her, but he killed her."

Sam put her arms around Margaret as tears fell down her face. It was then that Margaret told her of Tara Knowles. One of the most gifted and talented surgeons Margaret had ever known. Tara had one weakness and that was Jax Teller. The president of SAMCRO and one of the faceless men on motorcycles who passed the coffee shop every day. Tara came back to Charming, feel back in love with her high school sweetheart, and ended up dead. Sam sensed there was more to the story, but just like everyone else in this town, Margaret seemed to put up walls when it came to talking about SAMCRO.

The health inspector was looking through the refrigerator when Sam heard the bell ring as someone opened the front door.

"MARGIE! she heard.

"ABEL!" she heard Margaret yell back.

Sam excused herself from the health inspector and quickly made her way to the front of the store. When she came through the curtains, she saw Margaret pick up a little blonde hair boy and spin him around. She hugged him tightly and looked like she never wanted to let him go.

The bell rang again and this time a middle aged woman came through the door. Her tight jeans, boots and low cut shirt gave Sam the impression that she was affiliated with MC. Sam looked at Margaret. The smile that was there quickly faded away and was replaced by something she had never seen before on someone's face. The look of pure hatred and fear mixed together. The look sent a chill down Sam's spine.

"Margie, I saw you. I missed you." Abel said as he broke through Margaret's monster grip.

"I am glad you came to say hi," She said, her gaze never leaving the woman standing by the door.

"Mommy went to heaven. Grandma says she is an angel now," he said with an innocent sadness that broke Sam's heart.

Sam realized that this must be Tara's son.

Margaret looked like she was going to break out in tears.

"Hi!" Sam said with a fake cheeriness, breaking the uncomfortable tension.

"I am Sam Broker. And you are?" she asked the lady standing by the door.

"Gemma. Gemma Teller."

Sam extended her hand to shake it, but the courtesy was not returned. Sam awkwardly retracted her hand and looked over at the little boy.

"Well hello Abel, my name is Sam. And you are my first customer. "

Abel smile and hid his face on Margaret's shoulder.

"We were walking to the ice cream shop. Abel saw you from across the street," Gemma said with an arrogance about her that Sam could not place.

"I am glad he did," Margaret sternly replied.

Sam had never been this uncomfortable in her life.

"Abel would you like a cookie? I just baked some," Sam asked.

He looked at Margaret and then at Gemma. Gemma reluctantly nodded.

Abel jumped from Margaret's arms and followed Sam to the counter where fresh oatmeal raisin cookies waited. Sam looked over her shoulder and saw a stare down between Margaret and Gemma.

"New career path? " Gemma asked smugly. "Tired of running the hospital?"

Margaret cold gaze never wavered.

"Too many memories."

Gemma nodded.

She turned around and examined the coffee shop.

"Like what you did with the place, Ann."

Sam looked up from Abel who was now eating his second cookie.

"It's actually Sam, and thank you."

Gemma looked in her direction.

"Ok, Sam. Did they tell you about the previous renters?"

Sam shook her head.

"Good." Gemma nodded. She then gave the place one last look about.

"Come on Abel. Daddy is waiting."

Abel smiled at Sam with chocolate all around his mouth.

"Tanks Sam." He said.

"Anytime Abel."

Sam followed Gemma and Abel to the door.

"Our grand opening is next week. Please come again," Sam said, trying to be the good business owner.

Gemma reached for her sunglasses and glanced at Sam.

"Sure, I'll put it on the calendar," she said with an attitude that was a mix between stuck up snob and trailer trash.

Abel waved at Margaret and before he could even say good bye, Gemma pulled him out the door. When the door closed, Margaret let out a gasp, like she had been holding her breath for the past 10 minutes.

Sam went over to the shaken Margaret.

"That woman is evil. Never trust or believe a word that comes out of her mouth," Margaret said through gasps.

At that same moment, the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club passed the shop and drove out of town.


	3. Chapter 3

The grand opening of _The Shop_, as Sam named it, went well. Actually it went very well. For all of her fears and constant worrying of being an outsider, the people of Charming seemed to welcome the idea of espressos, cappuccinos and fresh baked goods; not caring that it was an outsider making it.

Luckily for Margaret, not one member of SAMCRO came to the opening, or had stepped foot into _The Shop_ since it opened. Each time Margaret closed the doors to _The Shop_ at the end of the day, Sam could see the relief in her face as she locked the door, knowing that she did not have to face Tara's widow.

Two weeks after the grand opening, Sam was in the back shutting down the ovens. She was tired; no, she was bone ached exhausted. She had been going non-stop since she arrived in Charming. This business had to succeed and she had no plan b if it did not. Every waking hour was devoted to _The Shop_.

Tomorrow was going to be her first day off, with Margaret running _The Shop_. Sam had sent her home early that day, since she would be in charge all day tomorrow. Sam had given her explicit instructions: unless the place was burning down, do not bother me. Sam needed the break and she trusted Margaret completely to run the place.

Sam closed the oven door and was about to go lock up, when she heard the bell ring overhead.

"Seriously," she said to herself. Tired and crankily, she made her way to the front to greet the rude customer who did not realize _The Shop_ was closing in two minutes.

She pushed her way through the curtain and that is when she was greeted by five large men, wearing SAMCRO kuets. Another man was in the front of the store, staring out the window.

SAMCRO had now popped _The Shop's_ cherry.

Mentally pulling herself together, Sam smiled and greeted the men.

"Welcome to _The Shop_!" She said with a forced smile. "What can I get you gentlemen?"

The men stared at her, not saying a word.

"Ok let's try this again, would you like some coffee?"

Still, the men were silent. After another 10 seconds of silence, Sam had it. She was tired, cranky and was not going to be pushed around.

"Ok guys, what is this? A shakedown? A protection thing? I give you money and you don't throw bricks through my windows?"

One of the guys opened his mouth to say something; Sam noticed very distinct scars on his face. Before he could speak, Sam blurted out:

"Look, I am tired, cranky and I have not had sex in about 6 months. I have been working nonstop and tomorrow is my first day off. So for the last fucking time, can I get you guys something? Because if you are just here to scare the new girl, you came on the wrong fucking day."

As soon as Sam shut her mouth, she turned red and was instantly embarrassed. But, at the same time, she did not care.

All five of them looked at her weirdly. The blonde never turned around. Finally, one of the guys spoke.

"I like her."

"I call dibs," said one of the other men.

Sam was not amused.

"Sorry to scare you. And no we are not here to shake you down. My name is Bobby and we just wanted to come in and welcome you to the neighborhood."

Sam looked at them with an unconvinced glare.

"Really?" she said. "Just here to welcome me to the neighborhood?"

"My son has not stopped talking about your cookies," the blonde man said from the front of the store without turning his back. "He has raved about them so much it is really pissing my mother off."

Without thinking, Sam blurted out:

"Oh, you are Tara's husband, Jax Teller."

Jax turned around quickly and stared at Sam. The first thing Sam noticed was his blue eyes. There was no sparkle to them, no joy. The sadness radiated off him like heat from bad sunburn. Sam instantly felt bad for him.

"How did you know my… Margaret."

Sam nodded.

"Margaret talks about her often."

Jax walked towards her.

"Jax Teller." He said holding out his hand.

"Sam Broker." She replied shaking his hand. At least he had manners, unlike his mother.

"This is Bobby, Tig, Chibs, Happy and Ratt"

Sam nodded at all the guys.

"So, why are you really here? And I really doubt it is for my cookies."

"I would love to taste you cookies anytime," Tig called out without missing a beat.

"Hey, I called dibs!" said Happy.

Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head. Clearly since Happy called "dibs", Tig should know better.

Jax step forward.

"My son has wanted to come back here. He was close to Margaret. I just needed to check it out. Has anyone told you about the former owners?"

Sam shook her head.

"Your mother asked me the same thing."

"You met my mother?" Jax asked with a slight chuckle. "Should I apologize for her?"

Sam gave a small grin.

"No, she was not here long enough to do major damage."

Jax forced a smile and continued.

"So why are you in Charming?"

"Is it a crime to open up a business in a new town?" Sam asked, annoyed at this constant question.

"No, Charming just has a thing about out-siders."

"Yes, I have heard. You really don't like us."

Sam stared at Jax. She was getting passed the whole widow single father thing. He was really starting to annoy her.

"I needed a fresh start and your town has cheap rent and shockingly, not a Starbucks anywhere near here. I figured I could do well. So far, the people of Charming have liked The Shop. I have not been run out of town with fire and pitchforks yet." Sam said.

"Well that is good to hear," Jax said.

Jax was staring at Sam and it was making her uncomfortable.

"So now that we have been introduced, do you guys want anything or are just going to keep on staring at me?"

"Get us five coffees to go. And two oatmeal raisin cookies, for Abel" Jax said.

Sam turned around and poured coffee in the to-go cups. She got the last two cookies out of the case and put them in a bag.

She brought the coffee and the cookies over to the counter.

"$8.50," she said after ringing up the order.

Chibs took out a $50 and put it on the counter.

"Keep the change."

Sam was going to challenge it, but thought better.

"Thank you."

One by one, the guys grabbed their coffee and started walking out.

"If you need help with that sex thing," Tig said grabbing his coffee.

Before he could finish his proposition, Happy came up behind him.

"What part of dibs don't you understand?" he said smiling at Sam.

"I guess it would not turn you off if I said I was a lesbian."

"REALLY?!" they both said at the same time, smiling.

"No, just not interested. Thanks anyway guys."

Both Happy and Tig took their coffee and walked out. The last person in the store was Jax.

"I am really sorry about your wife," she said to him as he grabbed the coffee and cookies. "And please, bring Abel back. I am sure Margaret would love to see him."

Jax nodded and handed her a card.

"This is the number to reach us if you have any problems here. We can help."

Sam grabbed the card.

"Thanks, but I can handle any problems myself." She said, sticking the card in a drawer.

Jax tilted his head.

"Independent or do you just not like me?"

"How can I not like you, I don't even know you." Sam replied.

"I can only imagine what Margaret has told you about me."

A rage was building inside of Sam. The arrogance of this man was nauseating. It is obvious he got it from his mother.

"Actually Margaret spends most of her time talking about your wife and trying not to break into tears. Your name has never even come up." Sam said crossing her arms.

For a brief moment, Jax's lips curled in anger and then just as quick, the sadness returned. Sam instantly regretted what she said.

"I am sorry, that was uncalled for."

"No need to apologize for the truth. Thanks for the coffee."

Jax took one last look at Sam and walked out of The Shop. Sam followed and quickly locked the door and watched Jax Teller disappear down Main St.


	4. Chapter 4

Back at the Ice Cream Shop, Jax sat at the head of the reaper table. He was twirling his wedding ring around his finger, thinking of the day Tara put it on. She looked so beautiful with that purple flower in her brown hair. Only she could make a wedding at a whore house so special. He missed her so much that he physically ached for her. He could feel the pain down to the tips of his toes.

"Jackie-boy," Chibs said interrupting Jax's thoughts.

Jax looked at Chibs standing in the doorway.

"What's up Brotha?"

"Marks called on the prepay. Wants to set up a meet."

Jax stared back down at his wedding ring.

"Not tonight. I need to see the boys."

Chibs nodded.

"I'll set something up for tomorrow."

Chibs started to close the door when Jax spoke.

"Hey, do some intel on the coffee shop and the owner."

Chibs looked at Jax.

"Suspicious?"

"Not sure. How many women come to Charming just because? Cheap rent or not, they are usually running from something. I just want to make sure that nothing will fall back on Charming."

"I'll get on it."

Jax stood up and started walking towards the door.

"Want me to follow ya home?" Chibbs asked.

Jax shook his head.

"Nah. I am good."

Jax patted Chibs shoulder and walked out the door.

* * *

The smell of cinnamon buns had woken her at 7 am. Realizing that she was not going to go back to bed, Sam got up and went on the hunt for her running sneakers. Sam missed running. She missed the feeling of just going and following the path in front of her. Since moving to Charming, she had not had the time to run. For some running was exercise, for Sam it was for clarity. After her visit from SAMCRO and Jax Teller, she needed that clarity. Luckily for her, she packed lightly for her move to Charming, and found her sneakers in one of the first boxes she searched. She made a deal with herself that she would finish unpacking after her run.

She put her earbuds in her ear, turned the GPS on her iPhone and went out the back door of her apartment. She knew if she went out the front, she would be tempted to check on Margaret and _The Shop_. She ran down the stairs before she had chance to change her mind.

As she started out her run, Sam realized just how small of a town Charming really was. She ran up and down Main Street twice, careful not to pass _The Shop_. She turned down Morning Road, only to come face to face with _Teller Morrow Automotive Repair_. Next to the garage was the burnt out shell of what was once the SAMCRO clubhouse. Sam did not slow down; she just kept running, making sure her GPS kept her from getting lost.

She was not sure how far she ran when she stumbled upon Charming Cemetery. She stopped in front of the gates and noticed a path that went around the perimeter of the cemetery.

"One lap around and back to unpack," she said to herself.

She did not see anyone around and was immediately grateful for the solitude. Sam felt comfortable in the peaceful settings of a cemetery. Back in Tampa, she moved into a house across the street from one. Early in the morning she used to jog through it, like she was doing now. She turned the music off and was enjoying the silence. The only sounds were the birds chirping and her breath. The wind was whipping up some of leaves that had fallen off the trees. For a late October morning, it was still quite warm. The sun was shining and Sam was finally starting to relax. Her mind was no longer thinking about the lonely widower with blue eyes who invaded her dreams last night. She had a job to do in Charming and she was not going to let SAMCRO or Jax stop her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, quickening up her pace. By the time she opened her eyes, it was too late to avoid the small hole in the middle of the path. Sam's left foot fell in the hole and cause her ankle to twist and for Sam to fall right on her face.

"Fuck!" she cried as she fell forward.

Sam landed with a loud thud. Instantly, white-hot pain radiated up her leg and through her body. Her hands, which she used to try and break her fall, felt like they were on fire, cut up from the asphalt.

"Shit!" she cried out again.

Sam's heart was beating through her chest and she was trying to compose herself. After waiting for the pain to dull in her leg, and her heart to slow down, she attempted to stand. When she tried to put any weight on her left ankle, the pain became too much and her legs buckled underneath her.

After waiting a few minutes for the pain to die down again, Sam crawled over to the side of the path, which was closest to the road.

"Ok, just call someone for help."

Sam retrieved her IPhone from her pocket, only to find the screen was shattered and she could not turn the phone back on.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," She said out load.

At that moment a stabbing pain danced up her leg. Sam looked at her swollen ankle and realized she was not walking out of here. She put her head between her knees trying to come up with a plan that did not involve her sitting there for hours until someone came through.

"Looks like you need help, or can you handle this on your own?"

Sam's head snapped up and she saw Jax Teller walking towards her from a row of headstones in front of her. Relief but also embarrassment swept over her.

"Let me guess, you saw that?" Sam asked.

Jax crossed the road and stopped in front of her.

"Actually I didn't. It was the fuck and shit that got my attention."

Jax knelt down and looked at Sam's ankle.

"That looks bad. Stay here; I'll go get my bike. I'll give you a lift to St. Thomas."

Sam wanted to protest, but she knew that she did not have a choice.

"Thanks."

Jax nodded and walked back in the direction in which he came.

Sam could not believe that she was relying on the local bad guy, maybe wife killer to help her. If this was not some kind of sick cosmic joke, she did not know what was.

The sound of his Harley echoed through the silence and a few moments later, he pulled up in front of her.

He got off the bike and walked over to Sam. By this time, her ankle had swollen to the size of a grapefruit and the bleeding had slowed up on her palms.

"This is why I don't exercise, "he said. "Way to dangerous."

Sam scowled at Jax and he laughed and winked at her. Sam blushed and brought her gaze down to her immobile ankle.

Jax reached for Sam's arm and helped her to her good foot.

"Thank you, again." She said as Jax helped her climb on the back of his bike.

"Don't mention it, glad I was here."

Sam winced as she put her foot on the peg.

"Why were you here?" Sam asked looking at Jax. Instantly Sam started thinking the worse. Did she interrupt something outlaw-ish? Were their lives in danger?

It was then she noticed his white t-shirt had grass stains all along the back and a single brown leaf was tangled in his hair.

Jax climbed on the front and fastened his helmet.

"I slept here," He said quietly and with a tone that made Sam think twice about asking further questions. Was it something in the water in Charming? How did these people learn to talk in a way that made people think twice before questioning them?

Without any further delay, Jax started his Harley and took off out of the cemetery.


	5. Chapter 5

When they arrived at St. Thomas, Jax parked his bike at the front entrance. He told Sam to stay, while he went to get a wheelchair. He returned shortly with a nurse and a wheelchair. Once Sam was settled, Jax said to the nurse:

"She is a friend of the club. Make sure she is taken care of."

The nurse nodded and started to wheel Sam towards the emergency room. Sam turned around to say thanks to Jax again, but he was already pulling away.

"Never thought I would see him here so soon. You must be a good friend of the club."

Sam looked at the nurse.

"I am not. Just met him the other day. It's a long story."

The nurse did not look convinced.

"You new in town?"

"What, am I wearing a sign?"

The nurse smiled.

"Charming is a small town."

The nurse brought Sam through the double door and pushed her to an open room.

"Let me give you a word of warning. I have known three women whom Jax Teller has been involved with. One of them is dead and the other two probably wish they were," The nurse blurted out as she helped Sam out of the wheelchair. In her six weeks in Charming, this nurse was the first person to say anything negative about Jax.

Sam shot the nurse a look.

"I am not involved with Jax Teller. I fell, he found me, gave me a ride here. If we were involved, don't you think he would have hung out, made sure I got home," Sam said, trying to put weight on her ankle.

"Actually Jax took care of that, a SAMCRO member will be picking you up once you are done here."

Sam struggled to get to her good foot and hopped on the examine table.

"I can take care of myself and get my own ride home." Sam said.

"Jax said the SAMCRO member will be here soon. I don't think you have a choice."

Sam leaned back on her elbows as the nurse looked over her ankle. Sam could not get something the nurse said out of her head.

"When you said the other two wish they were dead…"

The nurse helped Sam swing her legs over to the side.

"Well, I guess you know about Tara. She was a good doctor, a good person. She just loved the wrong man. Wendy is the mother of Jax's oldest son, Abel. He married her a while ago. She was not Tara and he never really loved her. Also her crank addiction did not help. Almost lost Abel since she was strung out through most of the pregnancy. Last I heard she was turning tricks in Lordi. "

The nurse fitted Sam with a blood pressure cuff and stuck a thermometer in her mouth. After getting the readings, she continued.

"And then there was Ima. Porn star. Loved Jax and wanted nothing more than to be his old lady. But again, she was not Tara. She slept with him during one of Jax and Tara's off moments. After that she was banned from the club house and when SAMCRO took over her porn studio, was kicked out. I don't even know where she ended up. "

"Jesus, "said Sam.

The nurse walked out of the room and a few seconds later returned with an ice pack.

"Why did you tell me all of this?" Sam asked. "People in this town don't seem to like talking about SAMCRO."

The nurse carefully put the ice pack on Sam's ankle. Sam winced in pain and looked up at the nurse who was now moving to inspect Sam's scrapped palms.

"Tara was a good person. She did not deserve what happened to her. SAMCRO is not god. Jax Teller is not god. Maybe if everyone started question their shit, maybe we can stop the body count."

The nurse grabbed some peroxide and went to clean out Sam's palms.

"Stay away from Jax and SAMCRO. If not, well it is your own fault what happens to you."

The nurse looked at Sam with concern in her eyes.

Sam heard the sound of footsteps behind her. Sam turned around to see Ratt standing in the doorway.

"Jax sent me," he said.

The nurse smirked at Sam.

"Don't say you weren't warned."

Sam turned away from Ratt and looked at the nurse.

"That is one thing about all you Charming people," Sam said. "You love your warnings."


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh my God! What happened?"

Sam had returned to _The Shop_ later that afternoon. She hobbled in on crutches with Ratt following closely behind. Margaret took one look at her and ran over to help Sam sit on one of the empty chairs. A few of the patrons moved out of the way so Sam could elevate her badly sprained ankle.

"I am fine," she reassured Margaret.

Margaret sat next to Sam as one of the part-time employees, a high school girl named Candy, brought Sam a coffee.

"I fell jogging. I cracked my phone. I am just…" She trailed off as pain returned to her leg. The two Vicodin the doctor had given her was wearing off.

Margaret turned her attention to Ratt.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with anger in her voice.

Sam jumped in before Ratt did.

"I fell in Charming Cemetery. Jax Teller was there. He found me, brought me to St. Thomas. Ratt came and gave me a ride home," Sam said in a rush.

She watched Margaret's eyes react when she said Jax's name. It was the same look that she had when she saw Gemma: hatred and fear.

Sam quickly continued.

"I sprained my ankle. Need to stay off it for two weeks and then I should be good as new."

Sam turned to Ratt.

"Thank you for the ride. Please help yourself to whatever you want. Coffee, cookies, it's on the house."

Ratt smiled and turned to Candy.

"I would love to try your chocolate chip cookies," he said to Candy seductively.

Candy laughed leading him to the cookie case, shaking her butt as he blindly followed.

Sam looked at Margaret and rolled her eyes.

"That girl does not have a brain cell in that pretty blonde head of hers, does she?" Sam asked.

Margaret turned and looked at Candy. She was pulling her shirt down while Ratt's attention was diverted towards the cookies, trying to make her already ample breasts seem bigger.

"Not a one," Margaret replied. She shook her head and turned back to Sam.

Sam giggled and took a sip of her coffee.

"Jax Teller…" Margaret started to say.

Sam cut her off.

"He found me after I fell. Apparently he likes to sleep in cemeteries now a day."

"Tara is there," Margaret said. "She is buried next to his best friend Opie and his wife."

Sam leaned forward and rested the coffee cups between her hands.

"I guess that explains why he was there at 7:30 am."

Margaret looked at Sam with concern. Before she could speak, Sam opened her mouth first.

"Margaret, I promise nothing is or will happen with Jax. After everything I have heard, not only from you, but other people. The nurse at the hospital gave me a play by play of the destruction Jax had caused it other people's lives. I promise, it is all good."

Margaret looked relieved.

Sam sipped her coffee and a small part of hers was wondering if everything really was all good.

* * *

Back at the ice cream shop, Jax was looking over the intel Chibs had collected on Samantha Broker. And the intel was boring. She was born in Tampa, went to school had parents and a sister. Moved to Seattle a few years ago, worked for a tech firm, and left about eight weeks ago. _The Shop_ was opened with a small business loan from a bank in Seattle and so far, she was making her payments on time. There was nothing suspicious. She was a regular 32- year old woman with no warrants, restraining orders or anything else that would make one think she was hiding anything.

"Anything in there interesting?" Chibs asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, bro."

Jax throw the file down in front of him.

Chibs sat down next to Jax.

"It's getting late brotha, you want me to follow you home?"

Jax stood up and shook his head.

"No man, I am good."

With that Jax walked out of the room.

* * *

"Abel asked for you again today. He wants to know exactly where Heaven is. I don't know what to tell him."

Jax was laying on top of the dirt mound. His hand was resting on the tombstone that was just erected this week. His fingers were constantly tracing the letters, Dr. Tara Knowles-Teller.

"Thomas smiled again. He is cutting some teeth. He cries at night sometimes, at least that is what my mom told me. I know, I should be there, but I just can't yet."

Since he had been let out of prison, Jax has been to the cemetery every night. The first night, he fell asleep at Gemma's. He woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. He does not know why, but had to get out of the house. He had to be close to her. He drove over to the cemetery and collapsed on her grave. As his tears fell on the loose dirt, all he did was sob and apologize.

"I am so sorry baby," was all he could say. Now he just talks to her like she is there.

"There is a new girl in town. She opened a coffee shop. Margaret works there. She could not go back to St. Thomas since you are not there. Nice place. Abel loves the cookies."

Jax started thinking about Sam. She did not react to him like other people. She had no fear of him. Jax found that comforting and terrifying at the same time. It was almost as if she could see through his bullshit. For a split second he was not thinking of Tara and once he realized it, he felt instantly guilty.

Jax sat up and stared at the headstone. He leaned his forehead on the cool marble, pretending that he was leaning on her forehead. He used to love when they did that. It was always a competition who would pull away first or go in for a kiss. Jax always went in for a kiss. He loved her that much.

"It was a Chinese hit baby. That is why you are not here anymore. I am so sorry," he said to the headstone. Although he has known for weeks who it was that took her away, he could not bring himself to mention it here. Mostly he would just talk about their boys and their memories.

He would give up everything, even SAMCRO for her to answer him back. To tell him that is was OK and that she forgave him. He needed her forgiveness.

Jax wrapped himself in the blanket he brought from home. He has sprayed her perfume on it so he could smell her. He laid back down again on her grave with his hand never leaving her tombstone and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

"Fuck!"

Sam forgot for a moment about her injured ankle and tried standing on it. The searing pain quickly reminded here and she fell back in the booth.

It has been a week since her injury and Sam was getting more and more agitated every day. She was tired of being injured and not being able to help in her own business. Thankfully Margaret had picked up the slack and Sam had to hire another high school kid to back fill some of the work. Luckily Logan had more brain cells than Candy.

Since sitting upstairs in her apartment would have made her crazy, she parked herself in the booth closest to the cash register and did as much as she could from there.

"So I guess standing is still a problem," Margaret said bringing Sam some more coffee.

Sam gave Margaret a dirty look.

The afternoon rush had just subsided and Candy was trying to figure out how to make Sam's Chocolate Chip Cookies. Each batch she made was worse than the previous.

"I don't know what I am doing wrong!" she pouted while twirling her now red hair around her finger

Sam was trying to be nice to her dim witted employee, but her patience was growing thin.

Sam tasted the cookie again.

"Did you confuse the salt and sugar again?"

Candy looked confused.

"It is so hard to tell them apart. They look the same."

Sam was wondering if she killed her, would it be considered justifiable homicide.

"Candy, the jars are label very clearly. One says sugar and the other says salt."

"But they both begin with "S"."

Sam was about ready to pounce on her when Margaret intervened.

"Come back to the kitchen, Candy. I will show again how to do this."

Sam silently thanked Margaret and went back to her paperwork. She was waiting for her new phone to charge and for a new vendor to come meet with her when the bell rang. She looked up and saw Jax, Abel and a little baby boy.

"Hi Sam!" Able shouted as he ran into the store. The customers sitting at the only occupied table looked up and saw Jax coming in. The two men quickly dropped a few dollars on the table and left.

This did not go unnoticed by Jax.

"Looks like I am bad for business," he said, juggling the baby on his hip.

Sam nodded in agreement.

"Is Margie here?" Abel asked.

"She is in the kitchen making cookies. Logan, can you take Abel back to Margaret?"

Abel happily followed Logan to the back kitchen. Jax sat down in the booth with Sam.

"I don't know if you are going to have any cookies left by the time he is done," Jax said.

"Candy is making them. I doubt Abel will ever want a cookie again after he tastes one of hers."

Jax looked at Sam with a confused look.

"Never mind. Who is this little guy?" she asked while making funny faces at the baby.

"This is Thomas. He is mine and Tara's son."

"He is adorable. How old is he?"

"About nine months old. He is a good baby. Looks just like his mother."

Sam smiled, not sure how to follow that.

"How is the ankle? I have been meaning to come by and check on you, but every time I pass here the place is packed."

"Business is doing very well. And the ankle is healing VERY slowly. Thankfully Margaret has been picking up a lot of the slack."

Jax nodded in agreement.

"She is a good woman. Tara loved her like a mother."

Again not knowing what to say, Sam was relieved when her new iPhone finally came to life and broke the silence.

"New phone?"

"Cracked the old one in the fall. I have been meaning to call and thank you again for the other day, but being immobile and no phone and being embarrassed, well I didn't."

"You don't have to thank me, glad I could help."

Sam could not help herself from asking:

"Do you sleep there every night?"

Jax had forgotten he told her.

"I can't sleep anywhere else."

"Who watches the boys?"

"My mother."

Sam looked at Jax with concern.

"Is that smart? I mean, the boys probably need their dad more than ever now. Would Tara want you sleeping on her grave every night or being home with your boys?"

Jax raised his eyes at Sam. Obviously he was not used to being questioned.

"I have an issue with word vomit. So I apologize if what I said offended you. But you have two beautiful little boys. Sometimes a stranger's perspective can help open your eyes. And if I could run away right now I would but I can't so, I am just going to shut up," Sam rambled.

What was it about Jax that made Sam say stupid things?

Jax looked down at Thomas. He was blowing raspberries and playing with his rattle.

"I look at my boys every day and wonder how they are going to live in a world without her. How I could even be half the parent and role model she was."

"Is that why you don't want to be around them?" You feel like a failure?"

"Look at you getting all Dr. Phil with me," Jax said, obviously uncomfortable with the question. "You have known me for what, a week and already I am getting psycho-analyzed?"

"You are treated like a god in this town. People worship you and SAMCRO. Or people are just terrified and scared to say anything to you. SAMCRO is not your legacy. Those two boys are. What are you more scared of fucking up?"

Jax sighed and was quiet for a moment.

"You sound like my wife."

"I bet me and her would have gotten along real well."

No sooner did Sam utter those words Abel and Margaret came flying out of the kitchen.

"It's time for the Abel plane to crash land!" said Margaret. She was carrying Abel around like an airplane when she saw Jax and Thomas. Margaret stopped dead in her tracks and carefully put Abel down.

"No fair! I was supposed to cash," Abel said.

Jax looked at Margaret.

"Hello Margaret."

"Jax."

Margaret's cold gazes soften when she saw Thomas.

"Hello Tommy-Boy."

She held out her arms to him and he laughed, recognizing her.

She took him in her arms and held him as tight as she did Abel. A single tear fell down her face.

"Sam, the cookies Andy made are not good. You need to make your cookies, " Abel said.

Sam was thankful for the innocent words of the child. It seemed to bring some happiness back to the room.

"I promise buddy, once by foot gets better I will make you a big batch of cookies!"

Abel smiled and ran back into the kitchen.

"Andy, you can't make cookies anymore." She heard Able say.

All three of them actually laughed.

At that moment, Sam's cell phone rang.

Recognizing the number she picked it up quickly.

"Hello Sam, this is Darla from Coffee Confections. There is an issue with your payment."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"I sent you a check last week. My account should be in good standing."

"We have not received a check and we need you to resolve this ASAP. Can you come up to our Stockton office tomorrow to take care of this matter? "

Sam did not have time for this.

"Does it have to be tomorrow?"

The lady's voice on the other end got stronger.

"If not, we will cancel your upcoming order. We have been trying to get in touch with you for a few days now, but it seems like your phone was off."

Sam relented.

"Fine, I will be there tomorrow."

"See you than, "the lady said and hung up the phone.

"Coffee Confections?" Jax said.

"It is my bean vendor," Sam said putting down her phone.

"Apparently they have not been getting my checks. Need to drive to Stockton tomorrow to pay them in person or else they will cancel my upcoming order."

Jax looked at her foot.

"Can you drive? I can get one of the guys..."

"I can drive fine. This is more of a headache than anything."

Jax nodded and turned to Margaret. Thomas had laid his head on her chest and was starting to fall asleep. She was softly humming a song to him. Sam could not place the tune but she knew she had heard it before.

"Margaret, I have some stuff I need to take care of tonight. I want to give my mom the night off. Can you watch the boys tonight?"

Margaret stopped humming and looked at Jax. Her cold gaze was back and it was directed right at Jax.

"For the boys and for Tara, I will. I would do anything for Tara's boys. But for you and for your mother, I would not even spit on you if you were both on fire."

The tone of Margaret's voice was almost demonic. Sam never knew Margaret was capable of that much hate.

Jax looked at her softly, not taking any offense to what she just said.

"I understand that. I want the boys to be around people who loved their mother. They need to know who she was. No matter what you feel about me or my mother or club, I will not cheat my boys out of the people she loved the most."

Tears filled Margaret's eyes once again.

"You can pick them up here tomorrow morning," she said. Jax handed Margaret the diaper bag and got up.

"If you change your mind on that ride, call me," Jax said to Sam. Sam smiled at him

"Tell Abel I will see him in the morning," he said to Margaret.

Jax kissed Thomas on the head and turned to Sam.

"Thanks again for the advice, Dr. Phil."

He walked out of the store and back towards the Ice Cream Shop.

Margaret sat down in the booth while holding a now sleeping Thomas.

"Lullaby for a Solider!" Sam blurted out. "That is what your are humming to him."

"You should of heard Tara sing it," Margaret said. She continued to hum the song as Sam watched the grief disappear from her face and a small smile take form.


	8. Chapter 8

"I let Margaret watch the boys tonight," he told Tara's headstone.

Jax was sitting on top of Tara's grave. A fine rain was falling gently from the sky, but Jax barely noticed. The drops were falling on her stone; it almost looked like it was crying.

"Thomas basically jumped in her arms. You should have seen it."

As Jax said those words, he realized that Tara would never see it. She would never see Thomas or Able again. That truth made his heart drop.

Jax stood up.

"I can't say tonight baby. I have to go take care of business. I have to make them pay."

He bent down and kissed the headstone.

"I'll see you tomorrow baby."

Jax turned and left.

* * *

Margaret was closing up the shop when her phone rang. Sam was still sitting in the booth coloring with Abel. Thomas was in his carrier that one of the crow-eaters brought down from the Ice Cream Shop. He was content chewing on a teething ring.

"Head lice?" Sam heard her say into the phone.

Sam watched Margaret pace back to the counter.

"No, I get it. We have to deep clean the house. No, I am on my way home."

Margaret got off the phone and looked at Sam.

"I can't take them home with me tonight. My son and daughter have head lice."

Margaret looked sad at the thought of not having the boys for the night.

"They can stay with me tonight." Sam said.

"But your foot…"

"I live in a studio. They can't get far. If something happens, I'll call Jax. "

Margaret looked at Sam.

"Thank you. I cannot stand the thought of calling Gemma."

Sam smiled.

"You don't like her."

"That is putting it lightly."

Abel looked at Margaret.

"Grandma is Gemma." He said while drawing big red circles on the paper.

Margaret forced a smile. If she could, she would take Abel and Thomas as far away from Charming as possible. But she knows they would not make it pass the county line.

"Are you sure?" she asked Sam again.

"Of course. Can you just help me carry Thomas upstairs?"

Margaret finished locking _The Shop_ and helped Sam and the boys upstairs.

* * *

Gemma was pacing back and forth. Jax had called her and let her know that the boys would not be coming home. They were staying with Margaret. Margaret? That bitch. She was not family. She had helped Tara try to leave Charming. If she did not get involved than maybe things would not have happened the way they did. But Gemma could not think about the past. It was done. She had to concentrate on the boys. Her boys.

"They are my boys," she said, pacing her empty kitchen.

"Mine!"

* * *

It was the sound of an explosion that woke Sam. At first she could not remember her surroundings or where she was. Within an instant she realized that Abel and Thomas were with her. She looked over and saw a sleeping Abel curled up on the other side of the bed. The glow from the TV let her see that Thomas was still asleep in his carrier. Sam silently thanked the heavens that they slept through, whatever that was.

Sam got out of bed. The dull pain from her ankle reminded her that she still was not healed. She hobbled over to the window to examine the faint orange light that was now coming from down the street. She saw fire coming from the direction of the Ice Cream Shop.

* * *

Jax was sitting outside the Ice Cream Shop staring at the charred wreckage of another club house. If Lin and Chinese thought that a grenade through the window was going to stop him, they would be sadly mistaken. They put a fork through Tara's head; a grenade was not going to stop him.

"Jax," Tig said.

Jax looked up at him.

"What do you want to do?"

Jax wanted them all to die; die how Tara died. Alone, scared and bloody.

Before Jax could open his mouth, his phone rang. He did not recognize the number.

"Hello?" he said answering it.

"Jax, it's Sam."

For a moment, Jax felt relief hearing her voice. He did not know why.

"Hey. Sorry about the noise. I am sure it scared you. Everything is taken care of."

He heard Sam breath into the phone.

"Ok good. The thing is, the boys are here with me. Margaret's kids got head lice. The boys are fine. They slept through the whole thing."

"Are you ok with them?" Jax asked.

Jax should be worried that his boys are with a total stranger. But there was something about Sam he trusted. He knew it the first moment he met her. He knew his boys were safe with her.

"We are fine. Abel fell asleep after watching two straight hours of _Peppa the Pig_ and Thomas has been an angel."

She did not want to tell Jax that Abel spent over an hour asking Sam exactly where Heaven was and why he could not see his angel Mommy. Sam's heart kept breaking every time Abel asked her why? She finally bribed him not to ask anymore questions with a brownie, apple juice and TV. Not the most effective babysitting, but Sam's soul could not take another question.

"Good."

He heard Sam's voice quiver on the other end of the phone.

"Um ok, I just wanted you to know and make sure you were ok."

"Thanks Sam. I will be by in the morning to get the boys." He hung up the phone.

No sooner did he put his phone back in his pocket, Tig and Nero came running over.

"Problem at Diosa, we need to go."


	9. Chapter 9

Sam could not fall back asleep. Ever since she got off the phone with Jax, she could not get rid of the chill that had invaded her bones. Abel and Thomas stayed asleep through the chaos of the police sirens and flashing lights. Over an hour ago, the police drove pass Sam's apartment at a high speed. Sam wondered where they were going.

She was watching some stupid infomercial when she heard a knock on her back door. Looking over and making sure the boys were still asleep, she got out of the bed and limped over to the door. She looked through the peep hole and saw Jax. She ran her fingers through her short black hair and adjusted the Motley Cru Concert T-Shirt she wore to bed. If she knew she was having company, she would have dressed a bit better. She opened the door.

"Hey." He said

"Come in," Sam said.

Jax walked into the apartment. He looked around the tight quarters. He noticed Abel cuddling his rabbit and Thomas in his carrier.

"It's not very big," Sam said.

He walked over to the boys and kissed them both on the head.

"Want some coffee?" she asked.

Jax nodded and sat down in a chair by the kitchen area. Sam grabbed her crutches from by the door and limped over to the coffee pot.

"Here," he said. "Let me do it."

Jax moved Sam out of the way and directed her to the other chair. Sam did not fight him and sat down.

"What happened tonight?" she asked quietly as he put the coffee grinds in the coffee maker.

"It won't happen again."

"That's not what I asked."

Jax filled up the coffee pot from the sink and put the water in the maker. He turned it on and went and sat in the other chair.

"Just a misunderstanding. You and the boys are safe."

"Does saying that help you sleep at night?" Sam skeptically asked.

The smell of coffee filled the small apartment.

"I don't sleep."

Jax got up and went to the counter. He took two mugs off the counter and filled them with coffee. He brought the mugs back over to the table.

"What is going on Jax? I know I am the new girl, the outsider and you don't have to tell me. But something happened tonight on Main Street. People could have been killed."

Jax looked at Sam with a blank expression.

"Have you ever loved something so much you would die to protect it?" Jax asked Sam.

"Yes," Sam said.

"I did not get the chance to die for her. I am making that right now. As right as I can."

Sam took a sip of her coffee.

"So what is this? Revenge?"

"In my world, revenge is about honor. Someone does not come into my home and stab my wife with a meat fork and get away with it."

"So in your world two wrongs make a right?"

"In my world, people hurt my family, they die." Jax said in such a way that Sam could hear the honesty behind it.

Sam got the chills just thinking about what Jax was capable of.

"What about the boys? You are bringing the violence to them, to their home"

"I am doing this now so they won't know this life of chaos."

"So I guess you don't want the boys joining SAMCRO?"

Jax sipped his coffee and looked at Sam straight in the eyes.

"Tara was willing to die so our boys did not know the life. I will make sure that her last wish is filled. The Teller legacy with SAMCRO dies with me."

Sam leaned back in her chair.

"What happened?"

Jax looked out the window over the sink.

"My wife died."

"That is not what I meant. I feel like there is more to the story and I am not talking about the night she died. I feel it even when Margaret talks about it."

Jax sipped his coffee and continued to stare out the window. The sun was beginning to rise and the kitchen was slowly filling with warm light. Still, Jax looked cold and dark.

"She wanted to take our boys and leave. Go to Oregon. She got a great job there. They would have been safe. Margaret had helped her with all of this. She did a favor for the club and got pulled into being an accessory to murder. She didn't do it, but still, guilty by association. She thought she was going to jail and did not want our boys to end up with my mother, if something happened to me. She faked a pregnancy and then set my mom up to look like she caused her to have a miscarriage."

Jax stopped talking as one tear slid down his check. His eyes never left the window. He shook his head and realized he was talking more than he should.

"What did your mom do to Tara?" Sam asked.

Jax wiped the tear away.

"You have met my mother and have spoken to Margaret. I am sure you can use your imagination."

The possibilities of Gemma's wrath seemed endless to Sam.

Jax continued.

"I found out the truth. I ran to another warm pussy. She found out. She went to turn rat. I stopped her. We made love. She died. Is that enough truth for you?" Jax said finally looking at Sam

Sam looked into Jax's eyes.

"There is never such a thing as too much truth."

For a moment, Sam thought she saw an ounce of agreement in Jax's face. It disappeared just as quick, taken over by the sad, lifeless eyes that Sam now associated with Jax Teller.

Thomas sighed heavily and moved in his carrier. Sam and Jax looked at him.

"My old man did not want me following in his footsteps. He failed in that, died before he stopped me. Not gonna happen to my boys."

Jax finished his coffee and brought his mug to the sink. Sam knew he was done talking. At least for now.

"Look, I am tired," Sam said. "The boys will probably be up soon. Why don't you take the couch and try to get a little sleep."

Jax did not have the energy or want to fight her. He walked over to the couch and took off his kutte and sneakers. Sam got up and limped over to the closet. She turned around to see Jax pick up Abel from the bed and bring him to the couch. She grabbed a pillow and a blanket and slowly made her way to the couch. She handed Jax the pillow. He laid down while gently holding Abel. Abel snuggled up to his father's chest. Sam covered them with a blanket and patted Abel's blonde head. She smiled at Jax, knowing no words were needed. She made her way back over to her bed and curled up under the blanket, trying to ease the chill that still had not gone away. Within a few moments, she heard the gentle snoring of Jax. Soon, Sam surrendered herself to sleep; falling asleep to the breathing sounds of the three lost, sad boys in her apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

**"**Where are my grandsons you bitch?!"

The sounds of rage and desperation woke Sam out of a sound sleep. She quickly scanned the apartment to see where the voice was coming from. Besides her three overnight guests, the apartment was empty. She glanced over at the clock and saw that it was 7:00 am. She looked over to the couch and saw Jax and Abel were still sleeping.

"Tara's sons are fine Gemma. Their father will be picking them up. Now get the hell out of my way," she heard Margaret say from outside.

Sam quickly sat up and turned to Jax. This time his eyes were open and he was staring right at Sam.

"Shit," he said.

"Daddy, Grandma is mad," Abel said without opening his eyes.

Jax sat up with Abel on his chest.

"Little man, I need to go see Grandma. Stay here with Sam."

Abel opened his eyes, climbed off of Jax and ran over to Sam. At the same time Thomas started to cry.

"I'll get Thomas," Sam said after putting the TV on and setting Abel up on the bed with his bunny.

Jax put his sneakers on and went downstairs.

* * *

Gemma had pulled up in front of _The Shop_ and saw Margaret walk to the front door. She did not see Abel or Thomas.

"Where are my grandsons you bitch?!" she shouted as you exited her car.

Margaret turned around and standing right behind her. Gemma positioned herself so Margaret could not open the door to _The Shop._

"Tara's sons are fine Gemma. Their father will be picking them up. Now get the hell out of my way,"

Gemma grabbed Margaret's arm.

"Get your hands off of me Gemma!"

"Listen to me you stupid bitch, if you did anything to my grandsons, I will…"

"Will what? Kill me? Didn't you already threaten me with that?"

Gemma pulled her arm back like she was going to punch her, when the door swung open behind her and hit her in the back.

"What the fuck? She said as she turned around.

"Mom, what the hell are you doing?" Jax said as he stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Both Gemma and Margaret stared at Jax.

"I told you I had the boys taken care of. Now, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same thing," Gemma said, finally getting her bearings back.

"That is none of your business. Now go home. This does not concern you," Jax told his mother.

Gemma looked from Jax to Margaret. Margaret gave Gemma a smug smile.

"Look at me that way again and I will wipe that smile off your face myself."

Margaret smiled bigger.

"Go be a good old lady and do as you are told," Margaret said.

Margaret pushed Jax aside and went into _The Shop_.

"Jackson…" Gemma said.

"Mom, go home."

Jax turned around and went back upstairs.

* * *

Sam was giving Thomas a bottle, while Abel ate cereal when Jax came back upstairs. She had overheard the whole conversation.

"You have serious Mommy issues," she said to Jax.

"You have no idea," Jax replied.

* * *

After Thomas and Abel ate breakfast, Sam packed up their bag and gave it Jax.

'Thanks for everything," he said. "Are you sure you don't want any of the guys to take you to Stockton?"

Sam had forgotten about her appointment.

"No, I am fine. I can drive," she said.

Jax nodded.

He picked up Thomas and grabbed Abel's hand. Sam walked slowly over to the back door and opened it for them.

"Tanks Sam," Abel said. "Don't forget about my cookies."

Sam smiled.

"I promise Abel, I won't"

Sam kissed Thomas on the forehead and rubbed his head.

"Thanks again, "Jax said. He walked out of Sam's apartment and down the back stairs.

Sam closed the door, locked it and slid down to the floor.

"Shit," Sam said to herself. "I am in trouble."

* * *

Sam had just gotten out of the shower. She was tying the belt around her bathrobe when she heard:

"Sam?"

Margaret had opened the apartment door and walked in.

Sam walked slowly out of the bathroom, trying to get used to putting weight on her foot. She knew Margaret was going to have questions about why Jax was at her apartment this morning. She decided to just spill her guts before Margaret could ask.

"Yes, Jax slept here. No I did not sleep or do anything with him. He showed up later after the explosion. He didn't want to wake the boys, so he slept on the couch and I slept in my bed. "

Margaret let out a sigh of relief.

"Did you listen to the news this morning?" Margaret asked as she sat down in one of the kitchen chairs.

Sam crossed her arms.

"No, I got in the shower right after they left."

"Sixteen people were killed at a SAMCRO owned whore house. So between that and the explosion on Main Street last night, I say Jax had a busy night. "

Sam felt the air leave her lungs. She leaned against the wall.

"This is what Tara was trying to get away from," Margaret said as she stood up. "The violence, the lies, the bloodshed. I just don't want you to lose sight of that."

Margaret walked over to Sam, stroked her cheek and studied her face.

"I know that look you have, Tara had that look."

Margaret put her hand on Sam's face, kissed her cheek and went back to _The Shop._

* * *

Jax sat at the table of Redwoody Porn Studio. The club had relocated its base of operations to the back room of a sex studio. After the massacre at Diossa and the bombing of the Ice Cream Shop, the club decided to put their families on lockdown. He could only imagine the look on Tara's face if she knew the boys would be spending their day and nights here for the foreseeable future.

The door opened and Happy, Tig, Chibbs, Bobby, and Rat appeared.

"Everyone is on lock down."

"Did you get in touch with my mother?" Jax asked.

"Nero brought her over," Bobby answered.

Jax sat back in his chair. His mind kept trying to drift to Sam and their talk last night, but he could not allow that. His focus needed to be on only one thing.

"Ok, call Barosky. We need to flush Lin out."

* * *

Sam drove through Charming and into Stockton. After the events of the previous night, she kept checking her mirror to see if she was being followed. Margaret's words keep playing over and over in her head. She had the same look as Tara. What did that mean? She was trying to convince herself she was not falling for Jax. She had a job to do in Charming and playing nice with Jax would make her life easy. She pushed Jax and the boys out of her mind and kept driving.

She entered the parking lot of the _Coffee Confections_ warehouse. She parked her car and got her crutches out of the back seat. Her ankle was feeling better, but she knew she was going to have to walk far and thought it would better if she brought them.

Sam made her way to the front door of the building and entered. She approached the young girl sitting at the receptionist desk.

"Sam Broker," She told the girl.

"They are expecting you, go right back."

Sam walked down the hallway to the last room on the left.

Sam opened the door and entered the room. Five people were sitting around a large conference table; covered with files, photographs and other papers. They stopped talking once they saw Sam.

"Agent Samantha Heading," said Deputy District Attorney Tyne Patterson. "What happened to you ankle?"


	11. Chapter 11

"I fell," said Sam, scanning the room and seeing not only the DA, but her boss ATF Agent Don Campbell.

"Why did you call me out?" Sam asked as she shut the door behind her. She hobbled over to the table and sat down in the first free chair she saw.

"Someone did a background check on you and the store," said Don. "We were surprised it happened so quickly."

Sam did not believe Don's reason.

"We knew it was a possibility for people to investigate me. That is why we set it up my back story. That is why we have this warehouse. We took precautions. That is not a reason to risk my cover. So, why am I here?"

Patterson put down the file that was in her hand and passed it over to her. Inside were photos of her on the back of Jax's motorcycle, leaving Charming Cemetery.

"Am I under surveillance?" she asked offended.

"Teller was, "said Patterson. "What were you doing on the back of his bike?

"I fell jogging through Charming Cemetery. Teller has been sleeping at his wife's grave. He found me and gave me a ride to the hospital."

Patterson looked as if she was trying to push away a memory. She had been at Jax's house the night Tara and Sheriff Roosevelt died. During Sam's prep for this undercover assignment, Roosevelt told her how it took Chibs and Bobby to drag Jax out of the house. How before that, Jax would not allow anyone to touch Tara. How once they got him outside and arrested him, the cops had to sedate him.

Patterson picked up another file and passed it to Sam. Those pictures contained pictures for that morning; the fight between Margaret and Gemma, Jax coming down from her apartment and Jax leaving with boys.

"So, you guys think I am screwing Teller?"

"Why is he leaving your apartment?" asked Don.

Sam took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. She told them about Margaret. How Abel is now a fan of _The Shop _and how Jax ended up in her apartment. She told them about her sprained ankle and the nurse and Realtor warning. She told them almost everything. She did not tell them about Jax's kitchen confession. She did not think it was relevant and it was so personal, she could not break his confidence.

For the first time in her ten year career, she withheld information and she felt guilty about it.

After she was finished, she looked around the room.

"So no, I am not screwing Teller. Any other questions?"

Don and Patterson stole glances at one another.

'Look," said Sam. "I know when Tara Knowles went to turn in SAMCO; you thought you had finally defeated the MC. But with her death and all the hell that has come down on Charming, you need me to do my job. I am not going to do anything that will compromise this. You know me Don; I have been doing this for a while now. So, stop questioning me and let me do what you are paying me to do. And no, it is not brewing coffee."

Sam closed the file with her and Jax's pictures and slid it across the table.

"Did Jax Teller say anything else to you?" asked Patterson

"No," Sam lied. "He has barely mentioned SAMCRO. And besides, he has only known me for over a week. I doubt he thinks of us as best friends."

Don studied Sam's face. Being her boss for over five years, he knew her pretty well. Sam was hoping he could not tell she was lying.

"So when he was in your apartment…"

"We talked about his boys. He fell asleep on my couch for a few hours and woke up to the sounds of his mother threatening another woman. Gemma Teller is a psycho with a reverse Oedipus complex. She is too obsessed with her son and those kids."

Patterson laughed and Don held up a file marked "Gemma Teller-Morrow".

"We have read up on her," said Don

"I am surprised that Teller trusted you with his boys, since you have only known him for a little bit," said Patterson interjecting.

"He didn't. Margaret was supposed to watch the boys, but head lice invaded her house. Margaret left them with me. "

Patterson picked up another file and read the contents.

"I gather you heard the explosion last night."

"Woke me up."

"Teller say anything to you?" Patterson asked.

"That it was a misunderstanding and that it would not happen again. "

"And the massacre as Diosa?"

"Didn't hear about it until this morning. He did not mention a word about it," Sam said.

Patterson put the file down and stared at Sam.

"You think Teller is dangerous?"

"I think Teller is a black hole. There is nothing left in him. When she died, he died," Sam said. "I don't know what he is capable of."

"Do you think Teller trusts you?" Don asked.

"I don't know," Sam said. "But I am going to play this out with Teller, see where it takes me. If he trusts me, the club will trust me. And then, we got them."

Patterson nodded in agreement.

"I am sure I can trust you not to engage in an inappropriate relationship with Teller," Patterson said.

Sam felt slighted that Patterson would even think that Sam would sleep with Jax, but she already withheld information for the first time in her career. She was already compromising her moral compass and she had only known Jax for a week.

That was not a good sign.

Sam nodded and stood up to leave.

"How are you doing, Agent Heading?" asked Don.

Sam slowly made her way towards the door with the help of her crutches.

"I am fine. It's hard pretending I know nothing of these people. And Abel Teller is a pretty heartbroken kid. Other than that, I am doing swell. Oh and the ankle, it is getting better."

Sam went to open the door.

"Don't forget what is at stake here, Agent Heading," Don said. "SAMCRO is a dangerous criminal enterprise. Do not let the widow with blue eyes pull at your heartstrings. They are violent criminals. They need to be stopped."

Sam turned and looked her boss. She wanted to tell him she knew what was at stake, but she could not be 100% positive in her response.

She smiled at her boss and Patterson and left the room.

After Sam left, Patterson turned to Don.

"Do you think she can do this?"

"She is one of the best. If anyone can do this, she can."

"Don't underestimate the heartbroken widow and his two motherless children."

Don wanted to stick up for Sam, but after seeing her today and seeing what she was up against, he was starting to question if she could.

"She made contact a week ago with SAMCRO. Let's see how this unfolds."

Patterson picked up the files and stuffed them into her briefcase.

"I want SAMCRO dead," said Patterson. "And your best agent better deliver."

Patterson picked up her briefcase and walked out of the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam was just leaving Stockton when her phone rang. She did not recognize the number. She knew it was not Don or Patterson, since she had just left them.

"Hello?" she said picking up her phone, she didn't mean for her voice to sound shaky, but after the events of the past 24 hours, her nerves were beginning to fry.

"Sam?" Jax said on the other end. "Sorry, I am calling you from a pre-pay."

A rush of guilt came over her as she heard him breathing on the other end of the phone. She shook the feeling back down. She should not feel guilty. She was doing her job.

"Hey Jax," she said, calming down. "What's going on?"

"We are on lock down. I would like it if you came and laid low with us. That way you I know you are safe."

Sam could hear a hint of worry in his voice, but she knew she could not go into lockdown.

"Thank you for the offer, but I have to get back to the store. Margaret is there and I can't go into hiding and leave her and the rest of the staff. I will be fine Jax. Just keep those boys safe."

Sam thought she could hear Jax smile on the other end.

"OK, I understand. If you need anything, call my phone or any other member for that matter."

"I will Jax."

And with that, Sam hung up the phone.

* * *

Jax felt disappointed when he got off the phone. He wanted to keep her safe. He was worried about her. He could not remember being worried about any other woman since Tara.

Tara. His Tara.

Jax slammed the pre-pay down on the table and left the office of Redwoody. He had work to do.

* * *

When Sam got back to _The Shop_, she sent Margaret and the rest of the staff home early. The explosion the night before had sparked fear in the heart of Charming. Business had been nonexistent that day and Sam could tell her staff was tired.

"Look, today is Friday. We are going to close for the weekend, give the cops time to investigate and people time to realize they are not in danger. We will re-open on Monday," Sam told Margaret, Logan and a now purple- haired Candy.

Logan and Candy left quickly, before Sam could change her mind. Margaret stuck around.

"Are you sure?" she asked Sam.

"Yes, people are freaked. I think coffee is the last thing they want. "

"Come home with me. Hang out with Dave and the kids."

Sam gave Margaret a big hug.

"I am fine. This is going to be a forced vacation for me. I intend on going upstairs, ordering crappy take out and not leaving until I have to open on Monday. Give my ankle one last big rest and watch the countless shows I have saved on my DVR, "Sam said smiling.

Margaret did not look convinced.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Now go home and enjoy the weekend. Don't come back until Tuesday. You have earned this long weekend. I could not have gotten through this without you."

Margaret hugged Sam again and after making Sam promise she would call if she got lonely or if things got weird again on Main Street, she left.

Sam went behind the counter, got paper and a marker, and made a closed till Monday sign. She taped it to the front door and closed the lights to _The Shop_. After making sure the front door was locked, Sam went upstairs.

When she entered her apartment, Sam immediately locked the door. She walked around the apartment, making sure the windows were locked and the shades were closed. She made her way to the back door, where she double locked the screen door and double bolted the main door. After making sure her 300 sq foot apartment was locked down tighter than Fort Knox, she got to work.

Sam went over to the kitchen sink and opened the cabinet below. She tried squatting down, but a strong jolt of pain made her remember that her ankle was not fully healed. She sat on the kitchen floor and reached into the cabinet. After a second of feeling around, she felt the hole. She stuck her finger in and pulled down. A large brown accordion folder came down, along with a few manila envelopes. Sam gathered her files and closed the secret compartment that she had built the weekend she moved in. As she closed the compartment, her hand gazed again her 9 mm that she had fasten to the top of the.

Sam slowly limped over to her bed and sat down. She put the TV on for background noise and started opening the contents. The badly beaten body of Tara Knowles started at her from the glossy black and white folder. She set the photo aside, in the spot her son slept in just the night before. Soon, crime scene reports, dossiers of the Sons of Anarchy and even an Autopsy shot of Clay Marrow all littered Sam's bed.

"I am missing something," Sam said out loud.

She was starting at a picture of Jax Teller's kitchen. She was looking at the bodies of Tara and Sheriff Roosevelt. Something about the crime scene was so personal, not cold like a professional hint.

If it was a professional hit, the killer should have waited until Tara came home, crouched down in a corner, and shot her before she even had a chance to put her bag down. By the time Roosevelt would have figured out what happened, the killer would have been long gone.

But this, this was something else; stabbed with a meat fork while being drowned in a kitchen sink. No, this was sloppy-a crime of passion.

She could not shake the feeling that everything with SAMCRO was connected, even this murder. She needed to see the crime scene.

She glanced at her clock and saw that it was almost 9pm. All of SAMCRO was on lockdown that means Jax Teller's house would be empty. Without giving it a second thought, Sam quickly cleaned up all her files, put them back in the secret compartment, grabbed her gun and left her apartment.


	13. Chapter 13

The walk to Jax's house was further than Sam thought and her ankle was reminding her every step of the way.

Jax's house was dark when Sam arrived. There was an old Cutless parked in the driveway. Sam knew that was Tara's car. She looked around and slowly made her way to the back of the house. Sam saw a window was open a crack. She was able to open the window and climb on it.

When she entered the house, Sam stood quiet for a full minute, listening to the sounds of the house. She had taught herself that rule. No matter how stealth you think you are being, it is better to be absolutely sure that either the house is empty or you did not wake anyone up. After a minute passed, she looked around and saw she was in the laundry room. She quietly walked out of the laundry room and entered the kitchen. She turned on her mini flash light and shinned it on the floor. She was now standing in the spot that Tara Knowles had died in.

"Come on Tara, talk to me," she whispered.

When Sam was a younger agent, she would get laughed at by her fellow agents when she said that. She called it the Diary of Ghosts; that the dead leave behind memories like a diary; you just have to listen for it. Sam needed Tara to show her her diary.

This was no hit and Sam was surer of it than ever. According to the police report, Tara had entered the house and put her bag down on the couch. She then walked into the kitchen and there she was attacked.

Again, it was sloppy. How did the killer know Tara was going to be alone? What if Jax was with her? So the killer was going to hide in the laundry room on the off chance Tara was alone and attack her with a meat fork.

No, it just did not make sense.

Sam could not let go of the feeling that it was still all connected. She did not know how, but she knew that if she figured out who killed Tara, it would bring down SAMCRO.

Sam walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Her foot hit a fire truck that was on the floor. Immediately the lights flashed and the sirens went off.

Sam stood perfectly still and waited for the toy to stop. She was almost certain she was alone, but never one to find safety in assumptions, Sam retreated back and hid in the shadows. After what seemed like an eternity, the toy shut off and the house returned to silence.

Sam walked around the living room and stood by the coffee table. She had a perfect vantage point of the front door. This is where the assassin should have stood if it was a hit. A gun and a silencer and Tara would have been dead before she even turned on the hall light.

Sam walked out of the living room and down the hall way. Abel's hand drawn pictures lined the hallway. You could tell they were hung with pride by a loving mother.

She turned into the first room and saw that it was Thomas's. Painting of motorcycles and teddy bears lined his walls. Feeling sad for the life that could have been, Sam made her way to the next room- Abel's room.

A car bed and more pictures of motorcycles made Abel's room. Sam walked around and came to a family picture hung on the wall; Jax, Tara, Abel and Thomas Teller, staring happily at the camera. The picture it looked as if it was a few months old. No doubt they did not have a clue that in a few months, Tara would be dead.

Sam left Abel's room and turned into the Master Bedroom. The bed was perfectly made. She wondered if Jax had slept there since it happened. She moved to the dresser. Tara's stuff was still there. Her brushes, perfume, and her slippers were still on the floor next to the night stand.

Sam turned to the open closet and saw that all of Tara's clothes still hung where she had left them. Sam closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of Tara.

"I am trying to figure out what happened to you," she said out loud. "I need your help though. Show me something."

Sam opened her eyes and turned to leave. She thought she heard something. She stood still again. Within a few seconds, she heard someone open the front door.

"Shit!" she whispered and went into the closet to hide. She partially closed the closet door and felt for her 9 mm that was tucked into her back.

"Bring him in the kitchen."

She heard the sounds of muffled screams and something being dragged.

"Jax will be here in a few. Put the plastic down and tie him to the chair."

Sam knew she needed to get out of there, but as an agent of the law, she should stop what was happening in the kitchen. She looked out into the bedroom again and noticed the open bedroom window.

She than heard footsteps come down the hallway and someone on the phone.

She thought the voice was Chibbs but she could not be sure. Sam retreated further into the closet and hid behind some clothes of Tara.

Soon, the sound of heavy footsteps came into the bedroom. Sam bit her tongue to stop from shrieking. She would be surprised if they did not hear her heart beat. She peeked out from behind the clothes and saw Bobby and Chibbs standing right outside the closet.

"So this is the guy Gemma saw?"

"Yea, said this was the one who left here the night Tara died."

She saw Chibbs light a cigarette.

"Ok, let our boy do what he needs to do."

Bobby nodded and walked out of the room. Chibbs grabbed something off the dresser and followed.

No sooner did they leave the bedroom, she heard the front door open again. Muffled voiced filled the closet.

"Give me a second," she heard and someone else walk towards the bedroom.

Jax came in and closed the bedroom door. He took off his shirt and he started taking off his rings one by one. She watched him stop at his wedding ring. The room was dark but the light from the neighbor porch gave the room an ethereal glow. She could see a single tear roll down his face. He took off his wedding band, kissed it and put it on the dresser. He then looked in the mirror and the sadness had now turned to pure rage. The look on his face made her soul cry. He turned and opened the door and left the bedroom.

Within a minute Sam heard the sounds of muffled screams. She knew Jax was torturing this person. Sam knew Jax had the wrong guy, but if she went in the kitchen, she would blow her cover and put her own life at risk.

She had to figure this entire situation out, before she could stop them.

"It's not like he is killing a good guy, "she said to herself, trying to rationalize leaving this man to die. This was not like Sam. The old Sam would have already been in that kitchen, stopping them and calling for back-up.

Sam came out from behind the clothes and slowly opened the closet door. She walked quietly to the window, opened it and jumped down, landing on her bad ankle. She let out a small shriek at the same time a scream came from Jax's kitchen.

Without looking back, Sam started to walk home.


	14. Chapter 14

Sam had been baking all night. It was what she did when she needed to clear her head.

The kitchen of _The Shop _was now filled with cookies, cakes and all different pastries. Sam had no clue who was going to eat it all; since they would not be fresh when the store opened Monday morning and she would need to bake new ones. But still, she kept on baking.

When Sam was given the assignment to come undercover into Charming, she needed to come up with a plausible reason for her being there. Single women renting a house, not working and showing up at the SAMCRO club house would easily arouse some suspicion. After doing some research into Charming, she noticed that the real estate was cheap and there was not a coffee house in miles. She set up her cover story as a small business owner and apparently, everyone has been buying her story.

Since returning from Jax's the night before, Sam had been in the kitchen. She kept trying to rid her head of the screams that came from Jax's kitchen, but she could not. Sam knew logically that it made sense leaving. Her mission was to bring down SAMCRO. She knew they did not kill innocents. So obviously, the man in the kitchen did something. But still, the guilt Sam was feeling was almost suffocating.

She was running through the Tara's murder again in her mind when she heard a loud banging on the front door. Sam looked at the clock and saw it was only 6:45 am.

Sam walked out into the store and stood still.

"BANG BANG BANG"

The whole store shook from the force of the knocking.

She made her way over to the window and peered out. Jax was staring right at her.

What was he doing there? Did he see her last night? No, that was impossible, she told herself.

She stepped back and tried to center herself. She need to be Sam Broker now, innocent and injured coffee shop owner, not a guilty undercover ATF agent.

She went and opened the door.

"I have been knocking for a while," Jax said pushing his way in.

"What's wrong?" she asked,closing the door and still concerned that maybe she had left a clue to her real whereabouts the night before. She was now angry that she returned her gun to its hiding place upstairs.

Jax turned around and looked at the empty store.

"Some of the guys drove through here last night and saw the closed sign. "

Sam relaxed and gave Jax a smug smile.

"Were you worried about me?"

"Why did you close the store?"

Sam heard the timer go off in the kitchen and motioned Jax to follow her to the kitchen.

"Business was really slow yesterday. My staff has been working overtime covering for me, so I thought everyone needed a break. We will open again on Monday."

Sam made her way over to the stove and pulled out hot pumpkin muffins.

Jax looked around at all the food.

"So, planning on eating all of this yourself?"

Sam smiled.

"I could not sleep. When I can't sleep I bake."

Jax pulled out a stool and sat in front of Sam. He grabbed one of the hot pumpkin muffins and started eating it. She was going to warn him they were hot, but it did not seem to bother him.

She started hand kneading a bowl of dough which would soon be donuts. Sam looked at Jax, wondering how he could be sitting in her kitchen, eating a muffin; when he was just torturing and killing a man a few hours before.

"These are really good. You are really good at this," he said.

'Thanks. My grandmother taught me how to bake. I feel in love with it as a child," she told him, happy that she could share a bit of truth about herself with him.

Sam stopped kneading the dough, wiped her hands on her apron and looked at Jax.

"You could have called if you were so worried," she said.

"I wanted coffee, " he replied, not missing a beat.

She pointed to the fresh pot that she had brewed right before he got there. Jax got up and made himself a cup.

"Why can't you sleep?" he asked her as he returned to his stool.

"I don't know," she lied as she started rolling the dough into circles.

_Yes Jax, I can't sleep because I broke into your house last night, pretty much confirmed my suspicions that your wife's death was an inside job, heard you torture some guy who obviously did not kill your wife. Oh and my ankle has been throbbing since I jumped out of your bedroom window. And to top it all off, I am an undercover ATF agent who is here to bring you and your club down and I kinda want to kiss you._

Yea, Sam could not tell him any of that.

"So you bake..."

Sam sprinkled more flour onto the table and continued rolling her circles.

"When I can't sleep. I just have no idea what I am going to do with all this food. I can't sell it on Monday, it won't be fresh."

"Bring it over to Redwoody. We are still on lockdown. None of this would go to waste. "

Sam had wanted to check out Redwoody, but she did not want to seem eager.

"Are Abel and Thomas there?"

Jax nodded.

"And my mother," he said.

"Great! I have missed her," Sam said sarcastically.

Jax slightly smiled.

"So why are you here? If you are on lockdown, shouldn't you be there?"

"I had business to finish up. I was on my back there now," he said not looking her in the face.

Sam noticed the already dark circles under his eyes were almost black.

"Are you ok?" she asked him. She knew the answer, but she wanted to see what he would tell her.

Jax licked some of the crumbs off his fingers.

"I have not been ok in a really long time."

Sam knew he needed a distraction. She turned around and put the fryer on.

"What to help me make donuts?"

Jax laughed.

"Trying to turn me into Chef Boyardee?" he said standing up.

Sam pretended to be insulted.

"You are comparing my homemade deliciousness to shit in a can. Get out of my kitchen." she said, pointing to the door.

Jax stood up and took his kutte off. He placed it on a hook next to an apron and walked over Sam.

"It is pretty easy," she told him. "Just put the dough in the fryer and wait until it is golden brown. Take it out too soon, it is a doughy mess. Take it out to late, you got burnt donuts."

"I think I can handle it, "he said rubbing his hands together. Sam could not help but smile at him. For the first time he looked happy. Maybe not happy, but content.

Jax picked up one of the donuts from the counter and dropped it into the oil like Sam had showed him. After a minute, he turned it over.

'Wow, " Sam said. "You're getting the hang of this."

After a few more seconds, he pulled a perfectly golden brown donut out of the fryer. He placed it gently on the drying rack.

"After it cools, you frost it," Sam told him.

"I am not eating this. I am gonna frame it. Proof I did something in the kitchen!"

Sam laughed at Jax.

"Maybe we should take a picture of it."

Jax gave her a smile that she felt all over her body. When he smiled the corners of his mouth seemed to reach those beautiful blue eyes of his. He was so easy to get lost in.

"Can you hand be the rest of the dough?" Sam asked breaking herself from his smile.

Jax reached over to the table and grabbed the dough circles Sam had rolled out.

When he went to hand them to her, Sam noticed his bruised and battered knuckles.

"What happened to your hands?" she asked, knowing the answer but still pretending to be surprised.

Jax looked at his hands and looked at Sam.

"I had to take care of shit," he said quietly, the smile disappearing from his face and a look of shame replaced it.

Sam grabbed the tray of dough from him and put them next to the fryer. She turned to Jax and grabbed his hands and rubbed them. She did not know why she was doing this, but it was almost like she had to do.

"What are you doing Jax?" she asked with all the sincerity she had in her.

Jax's eyes dropped to the floor.

"I don't know. I thought I did. But I don't anymore."

Sam lifted Jax's head up and looked straight into his eyes.

"That kutte must be so heavy," she said.

Jax stared right back at her. His hand quickly found a streak of flour that graced her cheek. He brushed it away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Sam was lost once again in those baby blue eyes of him. So full of sadness, yet so irresistible. They both leaned in for a kiss, when the timer to the other oven went off and broke them out of their daze.

Sam jumped back and Jax did the same.

Without saying anything, she went over to the other oven and pulled out cookies. She was soundlessly screaming at herself. She had almost crossed a line that she didn't know if she could come back from.

Before she could turn around and face him again, Jax's phone rang and cut through the awkward silence. He walked into the front of the store to answer it.

Sam leaned up against the over for support. Two months ago, she was a proud agent with a file full of commendations. Today, she was acting like a love sick teenager who almost kissed the blue eyed killer in her kitchen. How far she had fallen.

Jax came back into the kitchen.

"I need to go," he said. He grabbed a pencil and an order form from the wall.

"This is the address of Redwoody. Come by this afternoon. I know Abel will be happy to see you."

He wrote down the address and left it on the table. He turned and grabbed his kutte.

"Thanks for the coffee," he said with a soft smile.

And with no other words, Jax walked out the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

When Jax arrived back at Redwoody, his thoughts of Sam and their almost kiss quickly faded when he saw Able sitting in the middle of the other children. He may of felt better if Abel was actually playing with the other kids, but Abel looked lost as he was pushing his toy truck in a circle.

Jax walked over to him.

"Hey little man, "he said to Abel, sitting on the floor next to him. "Why aren't you playing with the other kids?"

Abel shrugged his shoulders, not looking at Jax.

"Abel, "Jax said putting his hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Abel stopped playing with his truck and looked at Jax.

"I want to go home and I want my mommy!" he screamed. Abel threw his truck across the floor, got up and ran to the back offices.

Gemma, who witnessed Abel's outburst, followed him. Jax was about to when Happy motioned him to join the rest of the club in their new chapel.

Jax looked in the direction of his son, but knowing his mother could take care of him, joined his brothers around the reaper.

* * *

Sam was busy packing up her night's efforts. She was going to bring everything over to Redwoody, when the phone rang.

"The Shop," Sam said while trying to put tin foil over a plate of cheese Danish.

"I am calling from a secure line," she heard Don say on the other end. "Is there anyone around you?"

"No, closed for the weekend. The bombing was bad for business."

She heard Don sigh on the other end.

"Word of warning, SAMCRO is in major shit with Chinese."

Sam put down the tin foil and thought back to the man she let die the night before.

"It's all retaliation for Tara Knowles death."

"Chinese killed Tara, how do you know?"

Sam could not tell Don about last night, but she needed him to believe her.

"Call it one of my patented hunches. It just all makes sense."

Don breathed heavily into the phone.

"So the MC knows the Chinese killed Tara."

"The MC THINKS the Chinese killed Tara. But I highly doubt it," Sam corrected him.

"What do you think happened?"

"Honestly, it was an insider. Someone who knew her. I think Roosevelt was an accident. Wrong place wrong time. But Tara, she knew her killer."

She heard Don tap his pen on his desk. He always did that when they were discussing a case.

"I think her death is what is going to bring down the MC."

"How?" Don asked, his curiosity peaked.

"There is no way Jax sanctioned Tara's death. And now look what is happening because of it. The bombings, the massacre at Diosa. It is all related, I know it is. I find Tara's killer, it is the end of SAMCRO."

"Is that your new angle?"

Tara thought back to last night, standing in the spot where Tara died.

"I broke into Jax's house last night. Club was on lockdown."

Sam knew she was only telling Don partial truth, but it was better than nothing.

"Did you find her diary?" Don asked, knowing how Sam felt about examining crime scenes.

"Yes, I did."

Don breathed into the phone again, but this time, Sam knew a warning was coming.

"Sam, about Jax Teller..."

"Don," she cut him off. "I know what I am doing."

There was a moment of silence, before Don spoke again.

"I hope you do." He said and hung up the phone.

* * *

"SAM!" Abel shrieked as he jumped up from his truck and ran over to her.

Sam had her arms filled with treats for the reluctant detainees of Redwoody Porn Studio.

Sam looked around a saw a bunch of women, kids and some other members of SOA. They all looked at her with curiosity.

Abel hugged Sam's leg and accidently stepped on her bad ankle.

"Ouch buddy!" Sam said as a hot flash of pain made its way up her leg.

Abel backed away and his lip started to quiver.

"I sorry Sam." He said with tears in his eyes.

"Oh honey, its ok. Accidents happen. Guess what I have?"

Abel's face perked up.

"COOKIES!" he shrieked again.

Before Abel had the opportunity to hug her again, Gemma came walking over to her.

"I didn't know you delivered," she said with her notorious attitude.

Sam did not let it get to her. She knew from reading up on Gemma Teller that she was a snake who was not to be trusted. And also she was seriously possessive of her family. Her possessive nature was bordering on psychotic.

"I closed this weekend. Did not want all of this to go to waste," she said still trying to juggle the different packages she had in her hand.

Gemma did not offer to help.

"Can I put this down somewhere?" she asked.

Gemma pointed to the bar behind her and walked away.

* * *

Jax was just finishing church when he saw his mother at the door.

"Can I get a minute?"

Jax nodded and the rest of the guys left.

"What's up, Mom?"

Gemma pulled a cigarette out of the pack of cigarettes from the table. She lit it and blew a smoke ring in the air.

"So your little baker friend is here."

Jax's eye brightened for a second. Realizing he looked to excited to see Sam, he toned down his look, but Gemma had already noticed.

"I guess we are a fan of her baked goods, aren't we Jackson?"

Jax shock his head at his mother.

"What is your problem with Sam? Or any women that is not a crow eater?"

Gemma flicked her ash on the floor.

"She is an outsider. She is not good for you right now. You head needs to be on SAMCRO, the boys and fixing all of this."

Jax made a sound that made Gemma nervous.

"How come everything you think is good for me, wants to kill me?"

Gemma's face turned white and she had no answer for her son.

Jax picked up the cigarettes from the table and made his way towards the door.

"Look, she is a friend. Nothing more Leave her alone."

And with that, Jax left the room.

* * *

Abel was sitting on the bar with Sam. He was already on his third cookie.

The rest of the club and their associates were lined up around the other baked goods. Tig was diving into his second corn muffin and Happy kept on saying he called dibs to a few of the guys standing around. Every time he said that, he would wink at Sam and smile.

"Thanks for coming," Sam heard behind her.

She turned around and saw Jax. Her cheeks flushed and she gave him a shy smile.

"No problem, "she said. "It would have gone to waste anyway."

Jax smiled back and then shifted his gaze to Abel.

"Hey little man," he said rubbing Abel's head.

"Daddy, these are so good. Can Tommy have some?"

Jax smiled.

"Not yet, he is still too little."

Abel nodded and went back to his cookie.

"Are you going to stay for a bit? Abel seems to like it when you are around," Jax said.

Sam looked at Jax and saw something different in his eyes. True, there was still so much sadness, but a small spark was there as well. Sam wondered if it was not just for Abel that Jax wanted her to stay. But whatever the reason, Redwoody was the new base of operations for the MC. She needed to get a good look around the place.

"Stay Sam! We can play with my 'rucks" Abel said.

Sam laughed and pretended to think real hard about her choices.

"Wow, with an offer of playing with trucks, how can I leave?"

Abel started to laugh and proceeded to show Sam where his favorite trucks were.

* * *

From the doorway, Gemma was smoking her cigarette while watching Jax and Sam interact. She did not know who this baker bitch was, but she did not trust her. She had only been in Jax's life for a week and he was already questioning Gemma again. She thought with Tara gone, she would not have to deal with that shit anymore.

But the thing that bothered her most was the way Abel lit up with Sam came around. When Gemma ran after him before, he refused to talk to her. Just kept saying it was an accident. Things have been weird between her and Abel lately. He used to love his Grandma. Now, all he did was ask when his Daddy was coming home, or when he could go to Mommy's house.

Gemma knew Abel was a mama's boy, but he was young, she thought. He would get over it and soon, forget Tara.

Gemma watched as Sam and Abel crashed trucks together. From the other side of the room, Jax was staring at them. He had a small smile on his face.

Gemma was filled with rage.

"If this bitch thinks she is coming in on my family, she is dead wrong." Gemma said to herself.

She put her cigarette out and walked back into the office.


	16. Chapter 16

Abel had just lined all the trucks up in a perfect line.

"We are going to cause a traffic jam Sam," he told her moving the red fire truck to the front of the line.

Sam smiled and looked up, feeling someone watching her. She caught Jax's stare. He was smoking a cigarette and leaning against the bar, staring at her. Sam returned the glance. They probably would have continued staring at each, if the sound of gun fire did not interrupt them.

At first Sam thought it was firecrackers, but then the front door of the studio banged open and a guy in a SAMCRO kutte came stumbling in, bleeding from his chest

"West!" she heard Bobby cry out.

Instantly, Sam grabbed Abel. The studio had erupted in chaos and people were running all over the place. She knew Thomas was in a back office, napping in his carrier. She turned and met Jax's panic gaze. Knowing that running out the front door of the studio was not possible, she ran in the back with Abel.

"Sam, I scared!" Abel said whimpering as they made their way back towards the office and Thomas.

"It's ok, buddy." Sam said trying to console the scared child.

She reached the back office and heard more gun shots coming from the outside. She saw Thomas still sleeping. Sam put Abel down and ran back to the door and looked down the hallway, wishing she had her 9mm. She didn't see anyone. She closed the door to the office and locked it. She took a chair and barricaded the door. She quickly looked around the room and spotted a bathroom in the back. She grabbed Abel's hand and Thomas's carrier and ran into the bathroom. She locked the door behind them, knowing that the flimsy wood door would do nothing to stop the barrage of bullets that could infiltrate the small space.

"I want my mommy," Abel started to cry.

Sam knelt down and looked at Abel. She had to get him to quiet down.

"Hey, buddy. I know you are scared. But I need you to be tough for Thomas. If he wakes up, he is going to be scared. I need him to see that is big brother is not scared. Ok?"

Abel stopped crying but his lip quivered. He nodded and that reached for Sam. Sam sat down with her back against the shower stall. She pulled Abel into her lap and moved Thomas's carrier next to her, hoping that the gunfire would soon stop.

* * *

Jax watched Sam take Abel and run into the back where Thomas was. He had a moment of reassurance, which was interrupted by the sound of gunfire. Jax pulled his gun from his back and ran outside. All he could think about was stopping anyone else from hurting his family.

* * *

It has been ten minutes since the last gunshot rattled Sam. Abel was still silent whimpering in Sam's arms. Thomas had slept through the whole thing.

"Abel, I need to go see if I can find your daddy. Can you stay here with Thomas?"

Abel nodded slightly at Sam. He climbed out of her lap and moved closer to Thomas's carrier.

Sam got up from the floor and walked over to the door. She put her ear up to the door and heard nothing outside of it. She slowly unlocked the door and opened it cautiously. She stuck her head out and saw no one in the room. She slipped out and closed the door behind her, giving one more reassuring smile to Abel. She softly walked to the office door and removed the chair. She put her ear to the door and heard nothing coming from the outside. She unlocked the office door and slowly opened it. Sam did not know what shocked her more; the sight of Jax's in tears or the body of Bobby that feel into the room when Sam opened the door.

* * *

Sam sat outside of Redwoody Studios with Abel on her lap. Thomas had finally awoken when they got outside and was cooing softly, playing with his rattle. Jax had gone into the bathroom with Sam and helped her with Abel. They told Abel that they were playing hide and seek and he had to hide in face in his daddy's shirt until they got outside. Sam watched Abel intensely as Jax climbed over Bobby's body, making sure Abel did not look. He did not.

Looking around the chaos, she saw Gemma sitting stone faced on the hood of her car, smoking a cigarette. She saw a few body bags also. From what she overheard it was the Chinese who sprayed the studio with bullets.

Jax was talking to the new Sherriff. Sam remembered from her intel that her name was Jarry. When she first came into Charming, she thought of going to let the Sheriff know who she was. But knowing that SAMCRO had half of Charming PD in its pocket, she thought better of is.

Jax had his head down and looked blank. All Sam wanted to do was reach out to him, to hug him. All she could do was hug Abel a bit tighter.

"Well who do we have here?"

Sam looked up and saw Paterson and Don in front of her.

"You look a little to dressed to be a porn star and a little old to be a babysitter."

Sam stood up, grabbed Abel's hand and played along.

"I am new in town. Samantha Broker. "

She noticed Jax making a beeline towards her, wondering why the DA and a man he did not recognize were talking to Sam. Gemma did the same thing.

"Oh yes, you own that coffee shop," Patterson said.

Jax walked up behind Patterson.

"Can we help you?" Jax asked.

Patterson looked around.

"Looks like you had a busy afternoon, Mr. Teller," Patterson said.

Jax did not respond. Gemma appeared behind him.

"Mrs. Teller." Patterson greeted Gemma.

Like Jax, Gemma said nothing.

"My condolences on the two members of you club. I can tell their loss will be felt."

Again Jax said nothing.

Patterson turned to Sam.

"Well Ms. Broker, how about myself and ATF Agent Don Campbell give you a ride back to your shop?"

Sam pretended to be scared.

"Am i…Am I in trouble?"

"No, but we just want to give you a heads up about the company you keep," Patterson started saying.

Sam looked around and bit her lip. She was hoping that she could pull of scared and innocent.

"Look around Ms. Broker. Body bags, gun shots, little boys who have seen more violence in the few years they have been alive than some see in a lifetime. You seem like you have a lot to lose, Ms. Broker. Now, I suggest you get in the car."

Sam knew they needed to talk to her. She also knew she needed some distance from Jax to figure all of this out. She looked down at Abel whose hand she still held. She smiled at him, let go and started walking with Patterson and Don.

"Sam, you don't have too…" Jax said as he grabbed her arm.

"What? " Sam interrupted. "Go with them? Jesus Christ Jax, I almost died today. Your boys were in the line of fire. I have known you for two weeks and already my life has been put in danger twice. This is why your wife wanted out and why she is dead. Bobby is dead. Your boys could have died today. I just…I can't….Just please Jax, leave me alone. "

Without looking at him, Sam followed Paterson and Don to their car. She was hoping no one could see the tears well up in her eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

When Sam returned home from Redwoody, she climbed the stairs to her apartment and collapsed on her bed. She was emotionally spent.

Patterson and Don asked her so many questions on the short ride back to _The Shop, _but Sam did not have any answers for them.

She did not witness the shooting. She did not know who killed Bobby or West. She did not see Jax or any members of SAMCRO return fire. No, she choose to sit on a cold tile floor with a scared and traumatized five year old and his sleeping brother. No, she was not sleeping with Jax Teller.

When she got out of the car, Don said to her:

"Do not forget why you are here. And it is not to sell coffee."

Sam looked at Don. For the first time in ten years, Don did not trust her to do her job. Sam was heartbroken. But than again, she did not trust herself either.

They pulled away and Sam waited until they were out of view to burst into tears. When she looked up she saw Ratt parking his bike across the street. He took off his helmet and sat back on his bike. Ratt was on Sam watch.

Now lying on her bed, Sam was sobbing softly into her pillow, trying to figure out how to get out of the mess she put herself in.

* * *

The moment Sam pulled away, Jax went right over to Ratt and asked him to follow and keep an eye on Sam.

Jax watched Ratt pull away and looked around at the chaos. Bobby's body was being carried out of the studio. Happy was crying as he watched his friend and mentor get loaded into the back of a coroner's van. Tig and Chibbs were standing next to the van, smoking cigarettes with blank looks on their faces. The family and friends of SAMCRO were scattered all over the parking lot, not knowing where to go or what to do. Jax knew they needed him to be a leader, but right now he never felt so lost.

Sam's words stung, but they were true. He had almost gotten her killed. He almost got innocents killed. His boys were once again in harm's way. And he almost died, again.

He could almost feel the pain that Tara felt towards the end. This is what she was trying to avoid and not even two months after her death, her boys were once again in danger.

Jax was beyond disgusted with himself.

"Baby."

He turned around to see Gemma standing behind him, hold Thomas. Abel was sitting on the curb with his head down. He had not said a word since Sam left.

"I should get the boys home," Gemma said. "I'll call Skeeter when I get home. For Bobby and West."

Jax looked at the cold face of his mother. He could not help but wonder if she felt anything. Did she feel Bobby's death? Did it bother her that he was dead? Jax was all cried out, but whatever was left of his soul died with Bobby. Opie's death had changed him. Tara's death had killed him and now Bobby's death had tormented him.

"Take them home. I'll have Quinn stay with you."

Gemma went to go hug Jax, but he pushed her way.

"Just go. Take them home."

Jax turned and walked back into the studio.

* * *

The knock on her back door woke Sam out of deep sleep. At first she was confused, not sure where she was. But then the events of the past 24 hours hit her like a ton of bricks.

The knock returned.

Sam looked at the clock and saw that it was after midnight. She had been asleep for a few hours. She got out of bed and went to the back door and without looking in the peep hole, opened it.

Jax stood in front of her.

He was leaning against the door frame. His white shirt had streaks of dried blood and his hair was a mess. His blue eyes, which were now staring at hers, were red and dry. He looked like he had been crying. He was breathing heavy. He looked like had so much to say, but did not have the strength or the desire to say them.

He stood up straight and tilted his head, never taking his eyes off hers.

Before Sam knew what she was doing, she forgot her words to him to leave her alone. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into her apartment. She closed the door behind them and Jax wrapped his arms around her waist; trying to take comfort in her grasp. Sam rested her head on his chest and put her arms around him, pulling him as close to her as possible. Jax put his lips to her forehead, closing his eyes as he gently kissed her cool skin. After what seemed to be an eternity of them just holding each other, Sam pulled away and got caught Jax's stare. Without thinking and just reacting she lifted her head until their lips met.

Jax took Sam's head into his hands and pulled her closer into the kiss. Sam could feel the urgency and the want. Taking that as a signal, she opened her mouth until their tongues met. Jax removed his hands from her face and wrapped them again around her waist pulling Sam closer to him. Sam wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes so she could get as close to him as possible. Her t- shirt lifted and Jax's hands now rested on the smooth skin on the small of her back.

Jax pulled out of the kiss, breathing heavy and looking at Sam, his eyes full of lust and want. Sam reciprocated. Without breaking the moment, she slid her arms under his kutte and removed it, letting the weight of it off his shoulders, even for just a few moments. Jax let her take his kutte and she hung on the back of her kitchen chair. Jax looked so vulnerable without his armor that Sam almost cried for him. Knowing what she was doing and how wrong it was, she took his hand and led him towards the bed.

* * *

Jax's cellphone rang and woke him up. He looked at the number and saw it was Gemma. He silenced the phone and turned over. For a split second, he thought the dark hair next to him belonged to Tara. But like every morning he remembered that she was gone. This was the first morning that the sadness did not drive him to tears. He still felt hollow, but he did not want to leave.

He moved closer to Sam and put his arm around her, liking that he woke up next to her. He thought back to their night. He wanted to get lost in her and he did. He just wanted to feel something, anything. He didn't want to see Bobby, Tara, Opie, Donna, his father. There faces were permanently etched into his brain. He just wanted to pretend that all was right, at least for an hour.

But he was surprised at what he did feel. She was not Tara. She did not feel or act like Tara. And she did not fit like Tara. But it still felt right, like he still belonged there with her. He told Tara once that the only face he saw when he was inside of someone was hers. And that was true, with every Crow Eater, Sweet Butt and even his ex-wife Wendy. But with Sam, he saw Sam. And that thought scared him to death

"What time is it?" he heard her say from the nook in his arm.

"A little after 6," he answered kissing her forehead.

Sam did not open her eyes.

"You can leave if you want. I won't take it personal."

Jax looked down at her.

"You kicking me out?" he said with a grin. "I mean, you did tell me to stay away from you yesterday."

Sam's eyes still remained closed.

"You really listened to me on the whole giving me space thing."

"Do you regret letting me in?" Jax asked.

"No, but I figured you had to get places. And maybe you were a little surprised you woke up here."

Jax looked around.

"Trust me darlin', I have woken up in worse places."

Sam finally opened her eyes and looked at him. She wiggled out of his nook and sat up, covering her naked body with the blanket.

"I just mean, I know that waking up with another woman…"

Jax looked right at her.

"It is different. You are not Tara and no one will ever be Tara. She is the love of my life. The mother of my sons. My everything. "

Sam did not shy away from Jax's truth. She felt it refreshing that one of them could be honest.

"You scare me Sam. I see you. I see your face. I see you when I am inside of you. That has only happened to me with one other person. "

The weight of Jax's words knocked Sam over. There was nothing she could say that was not a lie. Everything about her was a lie and here he was, being so vulnerable with her. Sam could not lie to him anymore, but she could not tell him the truth.

She did the only thing she could do that was true. She climbed on top of him. She grabbed his already erect cock and guided it into her, the whole time staring into his beautiful blues eyes.

"I want to see you," Sam said as she started to slowly ride him. "I want to see you and feel you. Let me see you."

Jax grabbed onto Sam and held onto her for all of his life.

"You scare me Sam," he said with baited breath.

Sam did not answer. She rode them both to the brink of ecstasy, never breaking their stare. His face was a treasure chest of emotion. With every motion, she felt him let her in more and more and when they both came, they did so in each other's arms. Sam collapsed back onto the bed. Without wasting a moment, Jax crawled into her arms, with his head resting on her chest.

"You saw me," he said with heavy breaths.

* * *

Jax left her apartment shortly after that. He kissed her softly as he got out of bed and got dressed. He promised he would call her later. Sam told him not to worry. She would be here.

After Jax left, there was something Sam needed to do. She got dressed and drove herself to Charming Cemetery. She found the grave of Tara Knowles Teller.

She knelt down on the dirt and noticed grass starting to grow.

"You don't know me," she said to Tara's headstone. "But I promise you, I am going to find your killer. I have fallen in love with your husband. I know, weird thing to say here. But when he finds out who I really am, it is going to hurt him. Hell, he may even try to kill me."

Sam kept rambling to the headstone.

"You both deserve this and I am going to give it you. If you could help, I would appreciate it."

Sam stood up and looked down at the dirt.

"It is not fair what happened to you, and I am sorry. But I will give you both the justice you deserve."

With a clarity and rejuvenation Sam had not felt in weeks, she left Charming Cemetery on a mission to find Tara's killer.


	18. Chapter 18

"Daddy!"

Jax entered Gemma's house later that morning to the excited sounds of Abel. He had left Sam's and drove around for a bit. He was thinking about Bobby, Opie, but mostly Tara. He needed to clear his head and figure out his next step. He had to plan retaliation for Bobby and he still needed to finish retaliation for Tara. His life has become one big retaliation mission. And then there was Sam. He smiled thinking of her and their night. She made him smile and he liked that. But he could not even try to figure out what was happening with them right now. He had bigger things to worry about.

After driving for a bit, he just wanted to see his boys.

"Hey Little Man!"

Abel leaped into Jax's arms and hugged him.

"Daddy, did Bobby go to heaven with Mommy?" Abel asked, his head nestled into Jax's neck

Jax started into the innocent eyes of his son, whatever was left of his heart breaking with each look from Abel.

"Yes, Buddy he did."

Jax held onto his son a bit longer and finally let him go. Abel went back to the table and sat down in front of his uneaten bowl of cereal.

Gemma entered the kitchen.

"You didn't come home last night?"

Jax sat down next to Abel.

"Had things to do."

Gemma was not convinced.

"Abel, go see if Thomas is awake."

Abel did not move.

"Abel, did you hear what Grandma said. Go."

Abel looked at Jax with sad eyes.

"Go little man," Jax said softly.

Abel finally got up and walked in the back.

Gemma sat down where Abel was.

"So, you and the baker bitch."

Jax banged his hand on the table.

"What the hell is your problem?" he said to Gemma.

Gemma sat back, startled at her sons reaction

"You are thinking with your dick and not your head. SAMCRO…"

Jax banged his hand again.

"Always SAMCRO. Never what makes me happy. Never what made me safe. Always SAMCRO. Always what the Queen wants."

Jax put his head in his hands.

"Do you know what Tara wanted, Mom? The boys safe. The boys not to have a gun attached to their hips. Never having to look back and wonder if someone who was going to put a knife in it. That is what a good mother wants."

Gemma's face turned white.

"I was not a good mother?" she asked quietly.

"You were a good Queen. But you forgot what your number job was. To protect me, to protect Thomas. And now look at my life. My wife is dead because of the club. My father is dead, because of the club. My best friend dead. My sons WILL NOT be SAMCRO."

Gemma looked as if she was punched in the gut.

"You are just upset. You don't mean it."

Jax stood up and peered down at his mother.

"I should have never listened to you," he said with a defeated tone in his voice.  
"I should of made Tara leave with the boys when she got that job in Oregon. It is my fault and I will live with that for the rest of my life."

Gemma said nothing.

"Brooke will be by later to get the boys. They will be sleeping at my house tonight."

Jax went to the door and opened it to leave.

"I need to be a good father now, Mom. Not a good president or brother, not even a good son. I was not a good husband and that again is something else I need to learn to live with."

And with that, Jax walked out and slammed the door behind him.

Gemma stared at the door, with venom in her eyes.

"That fucking baker bitch needs to shut the hell up," she said outloud. She stood up and went back to see the boys.

* * *

Sam was staring at one of the crime scene photos. She has been staring at it for a long time. She knew it was late; the sun had set and she had to turn on the light in her apartment. She had locked the back door so Jax would need to call if he wanted to enter her building, something she obviously forgotten to do the night before. She had not heard from him all day. Although she wanted to see him, she needed to concentrate-to start putting the pieces together.

There was something in the picture that was puzzling her. In the back of the photo, where Tara's lifeless hand fell, Sam thought she could make out a smeared triangle with a circular smear next to it. Obviously the killer tried to clean it up, but something about that mark was familiar to Sam, but she could not place it.

Her cell phone rang. She saw it was Jax.

"Hey." she said.

"Hey."

Sam smiled at the sound of his voice.

"Where are you?" She asked, wondering if she needed to clean up the files that littered her bed.

"Home. I brought the boys home tonight. I felt the needed to sleep in their own rooms."

Sam was silently relieved he would not be stopping by, but also wondering how he could bring the boys back to that house.

"I am sure they missed their rooms. How are you today?"

"Ok, had to take care of some club stuff today. Now, I am just staying with the boys."

"Where is Gemma?"

"I don't know. She is mad at me."

"Why?" Sam asked putting down the photo.

"Family stuff."

Sam did not want to push.

"What are you doing?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Nothing. Getting ready for bed. I need to open tomorrow. Margaret is off until Tuesday and I need to get in the kitchen by 4am to bake for the rush."

"Damn, I was gonnna ask if you wanted to come over and keep me company."

Sam laughed in the phone.

"Rain check? And besides, if Gemma stops by, she may try to kick my ass." Sam said

Jax sighed in the phone.

"I think you could out run her," he said.

Sam laughed into the phone.

"Especially if she is wearing those stilettos…"

Sam stopped mid- sentence and tried to catch her breath. Stilettos…

"Sam?" she heard Jax say into the phone.

She quickly composed herself.

"Sorry, just got a chill."

"My mother has that effect on people."

"I am going to go to bed now. Bring the boys to _The Shop_ tomorrow."

"I'll have Brooke bring them by if I can't. Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked.

Sam was still thinking of stilettos.

"I would like that. Night Jax," she said.

"Night Sam."

Sam hung up the phone and quickly got up.

She ran to one of her unpacked boxes that she had stuck in the closet. She emptied the contents on the floor but did not find what she was looking for. She went to the next box and emptied that one. A pair of black stiletto shoes tumbled out, along with other shoes

Sam grabbed the shoes and ran to the bathroom. She opened up the medicine chest and took the baby powder off the shelf. She opened the cap and sprinkled some on the floor. After she put a coating of powder on the floor, she slipped on the stilletos. She had not worn these shoes in months and her ankle did not like them. She carefully walked across the powder. She turned around and inspected her footprints. There was a defined triangle/circular pattern.

She slipped the shoes off and ran back to her bed, grabbing the crime scene photo. She brought the picture back to the bathroom. She sat on the floor and held the picture up against her footprints. The footprints she made matched the picture.

She looked at the shoes that Tara was wearing. She was wearing boots, but her shoes would not have made that footprint.

"A women was there, but who…" she said outloud.

As soon as she said those words, all the pieces came together. Sam dropped the picture and became violently nauseous. She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up.

After she finished throwing up, she flushed the toilet and leaned up against the wall.

"She killed you. She waited for you and killed you," Sam said as she stared at the stiletto foot print in the powder.

With the realization that Gemma had killed her own daughter-in -law -Jax's- wife, Sam curled up in a fetal position on the bathroom floor and started crying.


	19. Chapter 19

The sound of her cell phone woke her up. Sam opened her eyes and saw that she was still on the bathroom floor. The site of the powder, the picture of Tara's lifeless body and the stilettos brought back the painful truth she had discovered a few hours ago.

Gemma Teller was a murderer.

She needed to call Don. She needed to get every bit of evidence from the Sheriff's office…

Her phone rang again.

Sam reached in her pocket and picked it up. She saw that is 5:00am.

"Hello"

"Um, Sam, it's Candy."

Sam sat up and remembered that she was supposed to open the shop.

"Candy, I overslept," Sam said, sound defensive. She quickly realized that Candy was just doing her job and she needed to watch her tone.

"Um, I have been banging and stuff on the door and like, you did not answer."

Her resolved to be nicer was quickly fading.

"Candy, go home. I am sorry, but we are going to close for one more day. The police just opened up Main Street," Sam lied. "And I did not get any deliveries. Come back tomorrow morning."

"Ok," She said. "Um, are you ok Sam? You don't sound good."

"I am fine, Candy. Can you call Logan and let him know we are closed again today. Margaret is opening tomorrow."

"Um, ok. Are you sure, Sam?"

"Yes, Candy. I am good." Sam lied again.

"Ok, bye."

Sam hung up her phone and slowly got up from the floor. Her body was stiff from falling asleep on the cold tile and she was still very unsteady on her feet. She walked over to the kitchen and reached under the sink for her secret spot. She reached for her burner phone. She turned it on and dialed Don's number.

"Yea." He said, still not awake.

"I need to see you and Patterson at the warehouse, ASAP."

"Sam?"

"Yes."

There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone.

"And I need all the evidence from Tara Knowles murder. Have it all at the warehouse by 7am. I'll meet you there."

'Sam, what's going on?"

"I read her diary and I know who killed her."

* * *

Jax woke up to the smell of pancakes and Thomas laughing.

He turned over and saw Abel sleeping in Tara's spot. Abel was staring at Jax.

'Hey Little Man." Jax said as rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Hi Daddy," he said still staring at Jax.

"Is Brooke here?"

"Grandma is in the kitchen making breakfast."

Jax let out a defeated sigh. He thought he made it clear to his mother he needed time with just him and the boys.

Jax got out of bed and reached for his t-shirt that was laying on the dresser. He put his jeans on and Abel followed him into the kitchen. Gemma was cutting up pancakes for Thomas and placing them on his high chair.

"Where is Brooke?" He asked his mother.

Gemma looked up at her son.

"She will be here in a bit. I thought we could have a family breakfast."

Jax walked over to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. He turned around and looked at the spot on the floor where Tara died. He sipped his coffee and just stared.

After a few quiet moments, Gemma noticed her son's glazed expression. She noticed where his eyes had fallen. She went back to cut up more pancakes.

"As soon as Brooke gets here, you can leave," he said putting down the coffee cup.

"Why are you so mad at me?" she asked in a hushed but stern tone. She did not want to scare the boys.

Jax started walking out of the kitchen.

"I told you yesterday. I need to be a good father and a good man. Everytime I am with you, it is SAMCRO this and SAMCRO that. I need to do what Tara wanted. And you just don't understand that. "

Jax walked out of the kitchen, grabbed his kutte and left without saying good bye to his boys.

* * *

Sam had just finished explaining everything to Patterson and Don. The small conference table was covered boxes; the evidence from Tara's murder.

"So you think that Gemma Teller killed her daughter in law and this "blood smear" is your only evidence?"

Patterson was not convinced.

"It all fits, " Sam said. "Gemma thought Tara was going to rat, the foot print is from a stiletto and Gemma basically lives in them. She would do anything to protect the club. The murder of Tara Knowles was done by Gemma Teller."

Don looked at Sam.

"What about Roosevelt?"

Sam sat done in one of the chairs.

"I think someone helped Gemma cover it up."

Don and Patterson looked at one another. Sam could tell they were having a hard time believing him.

"Look, all I am asking is for 48 hours to prove this. I have not looked at the evidence from Tara's murder. Let me go through the boxes and see if I can put this together. But I am telling you, Gemma killed Tara. And once Jax finds that out…"

Sam stopped mid-sentence. She had forgotten about Jax. How was she going to tell him that his mother was a murderer?

"Agent Heading?" Don said.

Sam snapped back into reality.

"Gemma is the Queen Mother. Now you find out that she killed the Queen and pinned it on the Chinese? Who then went and killed two members? This is going to destroy the MC."

Once again Don and Patterson looked at one another.

Patterson stood up.

"You have 48 hours to prove this. If not, I am pulling you out of Charming. "

Sam stood up.

"Wait, why?"

Patterson put her bag over her shoulder and reached for the door handle.

"You have gotten too close to this case. I can see it in your eyes. You have fallen in love with him, haven't you?

Sam did not know how to answer the question. She just stared at Patterson.

"I thought so. 48 hours Agent Heading."

Patterson opened the door and left.

Sam slumped back in her chair and put her head in her hands, as tears started to well in her eyes.

"I recommended you for this assignment because I did not think I had to worry about this. I thought you were the best," Don said.

Sam wiped away the tears and looked at Don.

"I know I am right. I know she killed her."

Don stood up and looked square in Sam's eyes.

"Then you better prove it. Because if in 48 hours you can't, your career is over Sam."

Don did not look at Sam as he left the room.

Sam was surprised about how much she did not care about her career. She needed to do this for Jax and she needed to do this for Tara.

Sam wiped away the remaining tears, and got to work.

* * *

Jax drove to the coffee shop. He needed to see Sam. He wanted to hear her voice.

The closed sign was still on the door. He parked his bike out front and walked to the front door. He looked at his watch and saw it was 8am.

He started banging on the door. No one answered.

He got his phone out and called Sam. It went straight to voice mail.

Something was wrong, he could feel it. He tried opening the door and saw it was locked.

He made his way to the back of the building, still calling Sam's number and getting the same voicemail greeting.

"It's Sam. Leave me a message." Her chipper voice said.

"It's Jax. Where are you?" he hung up the phone.

Jax made his way up the back stair case. The screen door was open but the back door was locked. Jax banged again on that door. Still, no answer. Jax did the only thing he could do: he kicked down the door.

He entered Sam's apartment.

"Sam?" he called out. Suddenly he was overcome with memories of the last time he called someone's name who did not answer. He closed his eyes and steadied himself. He opened them again and called out Sam's name.

He looked around her apartment. The bed was not made and there were clothes on the floor. The apartment looked as it did when he left yesterday.

He walked to the bathroom. He turned the light on and pulled back the shower curtain, hesitant of what he might find. The shower was empty and dry.

He noticed powder on the floor and black shoes next to foot prints in the powder.

Had she gone out? Did she go out and meet someone? They just had that one night together, that one great night, but they were not exclusive by any means. Jax could feel himself getting jealous.

He was just about to leave the bathroom when he noticed something on the floor by the toilet. He walked over and reached down. He turned it over only to see a crime scene photo of his dead wife and her lifeless eyes, starting right at him.


	20. Chapter 20

Gemma was sipping coffee at her dining room table when Unser walked in.

"Hey," he said.

She did not look at him.

"Where are the boys?"

Gemma took a long sip of her coffee. She put down the cup and picked up a pack of cigarettes. She took one of the cigarettes out of the pack and lit it.

"At Jax's." she finally said as she exhaled a long puff of smoke.

Unser sat down in one of the empty chairs.

"There are some new developments in Tara's murder investigation. Thought Jax would want to know."

Gemma finally looked at her old friend.

"What kind of developments?"

Unser leaned forward.

"I had to deliver all of the information we had on Tara's murder to a warehouse in Stockton this morning. "

Gemma's stomach turned. Although she was reeling on the inside, she kept her face calm and stoic.

"Why did you have to take it there?"

Unser pulled a joint from his pocket and lit it. He offered it to Gemma but she refused.

"I don't know. But the building was heavily locked down. I could not get passed the receptionist. At first I thought I was in the wrong place, cause the building had a coffee sign on the front."

"Coffee?" Gemma asked putting her cigarette out in the ash tray.

"Yea. But apparently I was in the right place. I think the feds are somehow involved in this."

As soon as Gemma heard the words fed, the feeling in her stomach turned from dread to all consuming rage.

She got up from the table and raced to the door.

"Gemma, what is going on?"

Gemma looked at Unser.

"I have to go see about a rat."

* * *

Sam was going through piles of paperwork and kept coming back to one name: Juan Carlos "Juice" Ortiz. He was the only member of SAMCRO that they could not track down. However, as luck would have it, he was brought into Stockton Prison just that morning.

Sam picked up the phone in the conference room and called one of her contacts at Stockton.

"Hey Larry, it's Sam. I need an off the record sit down with a new inmate and I need it now."

* * *

"Why did she have her picture?" Jax thought to himself as he laid down in the grass by Tara's grave. He had not been there in two nights and felt guilty. But now that Juice was inside of Stockton and would kill Lin for him, he could come back. Let Tara know that justice was served for her.

But all he could think about was the picture of Tara, cold and lifeless, on Sam's bathroom floor. He needed to talk to Sam, but she was not answering her phone. He needed to find out what the hell was going on.

Jax stood up and kissed Tara's headstone.

"I love you, baby." He said as he walked away.

* * *

Sam pulled up to the front of the store. After a few tense minutes, Juice had confirmed everything. He confirmed that Gemma did kill Tara, he shot Roosevelt, and he lied about the Chinese. He called Gemma the "Gatekeeper of Secrets." When Sam left the visiting room, she knew Juice would not make it out of Stockton alive. She wished she felt bad about it, but she didn't.

Sam picked up her phone and noticed that it was off. Had it been off all day? She wondered. As soon as it powered on, texts and voice messages from Jax filled her screen.

"Shit." She said out loud. She needed to call him, but first she needed to think of an excuse why she was out of reach all day. Sam got out of her car and locked it. She went to the front door opened it and removed the closed sign. She knew Margaret would be opening in the morning and she did not have to worry about _The Shop. _

On her way up the stairs, she figured she would tell Jax she just needed some time to think and took off for the day. She really did not own him an explanation. That is what her head was saying. Her heart on the other hand was completely in love with Jackson Teller.

Sam unlocked the door to her apartment and instantly knew something was wrong.

Her eyes darted to the back door that had been kicked in. Silently thanking God for the small apartment, she made her way over to sink and her secret hiding place where her 9mm was stashed.

"Looking for this?" a voice said behind her.

Sam quickly turned around and saw Gemma Teller pointing her 9mm right at her.


	21. Chapter 21

Sam looked into the black, dead eyes of a killer. She could not read Gemma's face. All she knew was Gemma had her gun and was not lowering it.

"Gemma, what are you doing?"

Gemma took a step towards Sam.

"I knew I did not trust you from the moment I met you."

"Why because I keep a gun in my home?" Sam asked trying to play the innocent card. She knew it would not last long.

Gemma moved a bit to the right. Sam could see her brown accordion file and its content spread all over the small kitchen table.

"What are you? FBI?" Gemma asked.

At that moment the secret that had been a ton of weight sitting on Sam's soul disappeared. Sam felt free. And she was not going to let Gemma get away with murder.

"No, ATF. And you are under arrest you murdering, psychotic bitch."

* * *

Gemma did not lower the gun. She kept it pointed right at Sam's heart. A kill shot.

"Who did I murder?" she asked with that cocky tone that made Sam want to punch her the first time she met her.

"Gemma Teller-Morrow, you are under arrest for the murder of Tara Knowles- Teller and Sherrif Eli Roosevelt. You have the right to remain silent..."

As Sam was reading Gemma her rights, she could see an instant of fear flash across Gemma's eyes. But still, she did not lower the gun. She kept it right on Sam.

"You have no proof of anything." Gemma said, after Sam finished.

Sam stepped forward towards Gemma.

"I have evidence. A statement from one Juan Carlos Ortiz. And don't think shooting me will make it go away. My boss and DA Patterson know all about it. You are going to pay for what you did Gemma."

Gemma looked dead in Sam's eyes.

"And what about my son? Do you think he is going to let you live knowing you are a Fed rat? I may be going to jail sweetheart, but I will go happily know my son is pissing on your grave."

"I don't know Gemma, why don't you ask him yourself." Sam said while looking over Gemma's shoulder.

Gemma turned around to see Jackson staring right at her.

* * *

"Tell him Gemma. Tell him how you stabbed his wife in the head with a meat fork. Tell him how she faught for her life. "

Gemma still had her gun on Sam. Jax was staring at his mother, with a lock of utter shock on his face.

"What Gemma, can't tell him how you beat her and tried to drown her?"

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING RAT!" Gemma screamed at Sam. That was the first time Sam had seen Gemma lose her cool. But Sam did not care.

"Did she beg for her life Gemma? Did she beg to see her boys? Did she beg for Jax or did you not even give her the chance?"

Jax took a step forward.

"Mom?"

Gemma took her eyes off of Sam and looked at Jax.

"I am so sorry baby. It was an accident…" Gemma's voice trailed off and she turned her head to Sam.

"You bitch," Gemma said with anger and disgust as she raised the gun.

"Mom, don't." Jax said with an eerie calmness that scared Sam. He pulled his gun out and pointed it right at Gemma.

Gemma turned again to Jax.

"I am so sorry Baby. I did not mean to do it. It was an accident. I thought she was going to rat. I need to protect you and SAMCRO..."

The sound of the gun fire caused Sam to jump. She was certain she was dead. It was not until she felt the warm spray of blood on her face and the floor shake from Gemma falling that Sam realized that Jax had killed his mother.

* * *

"It was self-defense." She told Don.

Don had arrived at her apartment shortly after the police and the rest of SAMCRO. They were sitting on the hood of his car. Jax was sitting in the back of a police car. The rest of SAMCRO were leaning against their bikes, silent and watching as Gemma's body was wheeled out of the apartment.

"How did she know you were ATF?"

"I don't know. When I got home, she was there. She found everything."

Don nodded.

"So Teller killed his mom to save you?"

Sam looked at Don.

"Yes."

Don nodded again.

"Ok, I'll tell Patterson. I think it is better if you get out of Charming sooner rather than later."

Sam nodded.

"Sam, I mean it. Get out now. That is an order."

Sam looked at Don.

"I understand."

Don handed her a towel and some water.

"Clean yourself up."

Don walked away and Sam looked into the back of the police car where Jax was. He was staring at her. Any life that Sam thought she had seen in his eyes was gone, and in its place was a dangerous mix of sadness and rage. Sam knew no amount of water would clean her of this mess. The man she loved wanted her dead and there was no going back from that.

Sam got off of the hood of Don's car and for this first time in many months, did as she was told and started making her way out of Charming.


	22. Chapter 22

_Two weeks later_

Sam could not sleep. She had not been able to sleep since she watched Jax kill Gemma right in front of her. She thought going back home to Seattle would help, but it did little to ease her. She was still waiting for Jax to find her. Or was she wishing he would. She did not know anymore.

She glanced at the clock and saw it was a little after 2 am.

"Shit."

She got out of bed and walked over to the window overlooking the Stockton Port. She had to come back to give a post mortem about her adventures in Charming. She was due in Patterson's office at 8am. Don wanted her in and out of Stockton as fast as possible. He did not want to risk her safety.

Although Sam had helped solved the murder of two people, her initial task of bringing down SAMCRO failed. Patterson was not happy. Don had put Sam on paid leave. Although they both had their suspicions about her relationship with Jax, they could not prove it.

Sam was not sure if she had a job anymore.

She looked out the window and stared in the direction of Charming knowing where Jax was right at this moment. Without thinking, she got dressed and left the hotel.

* * *

It was too warm to wrap himself in a blanket. He just laid on top of it with his hands on her headstone. He had never been so lost and so confused. Gemma's lie about the Chinese killing Tara had caused so much pain and retaliation, that Jax was not sure what was going to happen. He did not think there was anyway to fix it.

The boys had been spending so much time with Brooke and even Margaret had pitched it. Everyday Abel had been asking for Sam. Jax told him that she had to go home, but still he asked. He asked more for Sam then he did Gemma. Jax had no clue how to fix his boys.

Every night as he laid on top of Tara's grave, he kept playing the details of her death over and over in his head. His mother killed the love of his life. How does he live with that? How does he live in a world knowing his mother took Tara out of it?

And there was the one thing he kept trying to avoid. He missed Sam. He knew she was ATF, but he still missed her.

Jax closed his eyes when he heard her voice.

"Thought I would find you here."

Jax's opened his eyes and sat up. He saw Sam standing in front of him.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi"

For a moment they just stared at one another, not saying a word.

"Still sleep here? Who watches the boys?"

"Brooke mostly. Margaret has been pitching in also, when she is not at _The Shop_."

Sam stepped forward.

"_The Shop_ is still open?"

"Margaret bought it."

Sam nodded. She had wanted to reach out to Margaret but was not sure it was safe.

"She does not know where I am. And she did not realize who I was. " Sam said.

Jax stood up.

"I am not going to hurt her," he said taking a deep breath. "Or you."

A feeling of dread that Sam did not realize was there, evaporated thanks to Jax's words of assurance.

'Thank you," was all she could say.

Jax turned and faced Tara's headstone.

"When did you figure it out? When did you realize she killed her?

Sam dug her hands in her coat pocket.

"The day before."

Jax looked back at her.

"Why did you come to Charming? To arrest SAMCRO?"

Sam knew time had come to explain.

"Eight months ago, after you were released from Stockton, I was assigned to the Gangland Task Force. They wanted me to go undercover as a Croweater. I learned and studied about all of you. After Clay's murder and Tara wanting WITPRO, they canceled my assignment. I was actually on my way back to Tampa to take on another assignment when I got the call that Tara was killed. Patterson was on the war path. She wanted SAMCRO. But due to changing circumstances, we changed my story, "

Jax nodded.

"What I told you about baking and stuff was all true. My grandparents owned a bakery in Savanaah Georgia. I spent my summers there and learned the business. They actually left me there house there when they died. Been meaning to go back there and settle down, but you didn't need to know that."

Sam tried to swallow the word vomit back and looked away from Jax.

"Did you tell your bosses about us?"

Sam looked up in Jax's eyes.

"No. I didn't. I couldn't."

Jax looked back at Tara's headstone.

"I loved her. More than anything in this world. She was my everything. My mother killed her."

Jax looked back at Sam.

"I killed my mother for the women I love. Do you get that?"

Sam nodded.

"What are you going to do now Jax? Why are you still sleeping here? Abel and Thomas need you. "

"Abel and Thomas need a normal life. A safe life." Jax said.

Sam could not disagree with him.

"I am sorry Jax. I am sorry for everything. For lying to you, for being the one to tell you about your mom. That is why I came here tonight. I just needed to tell you that. "

Jax let out a long sigh.

"There is nothing to be sorry for."

Sam looked at Tara's headstone.

"Be a good father Jax. Do what she wanted you to do. End the chaos. "

Sam turned around to leave.

"Do you love me Sam?" Jax asked as Sam walked towards her car.

She did not turn around.

"Yes."

Knowing no other words needed to be spoken; Sam got in her car and drove away.


	23. Chapter 23

_Dear Senior Agent Don Campbell,_

_I hereby resign from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives effective immediately._

_Sincerely_

_Agent Samantha Heading._

Sam kept staring at her computer screen, shocked that she was typing these words. But she knew she could no longer keep being an agent. She had crossed the line and knew that there was no coming back from it.

It has been a week since her meeting with Patterson and Don. Although, she was given credit for her solving Tara and Eli's death, she still did not complete her main mission. She was not being fired, but it was heavily advised that if she would resign, she would do so with full honor and benefits. That way she could keep her pension and the Bureau did not have to investigate her actions and save face.

It took Sam a week to write this letter to Don. Every time she sat down at her computer, she would start to cry. She kept on thinking about Jax and the boys. She missed them all so much, but there was nothing she could do to fix that. As she pushed send to email her resignation to Don, her phone rang. She saw that it was her mother.

"Hey Mama," she said as she sent her email and ended her ten year career.

"Hey Love, whatcha doing?"

Sam sighed.

"Just resigned."

Sam could hear the relief in her mother's voice. Her family did not know the real reason why she resigned, they were just happy she did.

"Well, love I am happy. Now you can come back to the east coast. Ma and Pa's house is all ready for you."

When Sam knew she was resigning she decided to finally settle down. She knew that her grandparent's house in Savannah was the only place she could go and get her life back together. Maybe even open up a coffee shop. Anything was possible.

"My flight leaves in the morning, Mama. And I have some last minute packing to do. I will call you in the AM before I get on my flight."

"Ok love, Dad and I will see you there this weekend."

Sam hung up the phone and looked around her apartment. Since joining the bureau, she moved around so much that she did not have a lot of stuff. She had moved to Seattle eight months ago and never even bought a toaster.

* * *

She heard the knock just as she was taping up her last box. She looked at the clock and saw that it was a little after 10pm. She walked to the coffee table and picked up her off duty side arm. She went to the door and looked out the peephole. Shocked at what she saw, she tucked the gun in her waistband and opened the door.

Jax stood there with a sleeping Abel in his arms and Thomas in his carrier.

* * *

"What are you doing here?"  
After Sam let Jax in, they brought the sleeping boys to Sam's bedroom. They laid Abel down on the bed and put Thomas on the floor.

After they closed the door, Sam asked Jax what was going on.

He walked into the living room and saw the boxes.

"Where are you going?"

"I resigned from the Bureau. I am moving to Savannah to my grandparent's place."

"You resigned?

Sam shrugged her shoulders.

"Didn't really have a choice, " she said.

"I am sorry, " he said.

"It is not your fault. I am a big girl. I knew what I was doing. "

Jax looked around.

"You don't have a lot of stuff."

"Stop avoiding my question Jax, what are you doing here?"

Jax sat down on the sofa and let out a long breath.

"I need you to do me a favor. You said you loved me. Is that still true?"

Sam leaned back against the wall and folded her arms.

"I would not have said it, if I did not mean it."

Jax nodded.

"So much stuff went to shit because of Gemma's lie. I need the boys to be safe. They can't stay in Charming. "

Sam finally realized what Jax wanted from her.

"You want me to take the boys?"

Jax nodded.

"Jax, what about you?"

"It is too late for me. I don't know if I can get out of Charming alive. But my boys, it is not too late for them."

Jax stood up.

"Please Sam, I don't have anyone else I trust or…"

Jax stopped before he could say anything more.

"Or what Jax?" Sam asked.

Jax walked over to Sam and took her hands in his.

"When I told you I killed Gemma for the women I love, I was not talking just about Tara."

Sam knew what Jax was trying to say. He dropped her hands and walked over to a duffle bag. He emptied the contents on Sam's coffee table. Piles of money poured out.

"What is all this?" Sam asked in complete shock.

"I sold my house, Gemma's house, and my share in TM. I cleaned out all my accounts. And there is this too." He pulled out an envelope from his back pocket.

"Tara had life insurance. She took out a double indemnity if her death was anything but natural. She was very smart."

Sam opened up the envelope and saw a check for $2,000,000.

"Jax, I can't take this."

He put her face in his hands.

"This is money for you to take care of my boys. To make sure their life is safe and free of this hell. Please Sam, you are all I have."

Sam thought about that sleeping boy in her room who had won her over. She thought about Thomas and how he would never know his mother. They did deserve a better life.

"If I do this, I am taking them to Savannah with me."

Jax smiled.

"I want them as far away from here as possible."

Sam nodded and Jax took her in his arms.

"Thank you," he said.

"You need to promise me something," she said.

Sam pulled back and looked into Jax's eyes.

"That if you can, you come find us. You come and live with us and we become a normal family. I know you think you can't because Tara is not here. But this is what she wanted; her boys to have a normal life. Promise me Jackson."

Jax nodded. But as she knew from the past, Jax was not good at keeping promises.

"What are you going to tell them?"

Sam could see the sadness and regret fill his eyes.

"That Daddy needs to go away and they need to go stay with you for a bit. When are you leaving?"

"I have an 8 am flight tomorrow."

"Ok, I will take you to the airport in the morning."

Jax reached down and kissed Sam.

"Thank you for saving our boys."

Sam smiled and returned the kiss. She slid his kutte off of him and led him to the guest bedroom.

* * *

"But Daddy, I want you to come with us."

Jax had just pulled up to the front of the airport to drop Sam and the boys off.

Jax turned around and looked at Able.

"Daddy can't right now, but Sam will take real good care of you and Thomas."

"But who is going to go and put flowers on Mommy's grave. Uncie Wayne and I go. It is my job."

"I will buddy, I promise Mommy's grave will always have flowers."

Jax looked at Sam.

"My lawyer is sending the guardian papers to the address in Savannah. Once you get them, sign them and send them right back over. Everything you need is in the brown envelope. Their birth certificates and pictures of Tara. Please make sure they don't forget her."

"They won't forget either of you." Sam said through tear filled eyes.

Jax nodded. Both him and Sam got out of the car and helped the boys out. Jax got their bags out of the trunk of the car.

After they loaded their bags on a trolley, Jax looked at Sam.

"Thank you for saving our boys."

Sam reached up and kissed him.

"Remember what you promised." She said in his ear.

Jax bent down and kissed Thomas, taking a moment to remember his unique baby smell.

Jax then went and picked up Abel.

"Remember buddy, you need to help Sam and be a good big brother to Thomas."

"Ok Daddy," Abel said. Abel hugged Jax and reached for Sam's hand.

Knowing that none of them wanted to move, Sam knew she had to be the strong one.

"Ok boys, let's go on that airplane!" she said trying to disguise that her heart was breaking again.

Jax bent over and kissed her one more time.

"I love you." He said.

With that he turned, got in the car and drove away from the three things he loved the most.


	24. Chapter 24

"Abel, stop throwing mud at your brother please?" Sam said with a laugh.

Abel and Thomas were playing in the backyard as the sun was setting over the Savannah River. Sam was sitting on the porch swing, watching the boys run around.

It was a beautiful spring evening and the boys were taking advantage of the longer days. Abel had found a patch of mud left over from the previous night's storm and was throwing it at Thomas, who was squealing with delight.

Sam was happy that it was bath night.

It has been six months since they left the West Coast. At first Abel cried for his Mommy and Daddy, but soon he became used to his new surroundings. Sam had enrolled him in a preschool and he was doing very well. A few times he had even called Sam mommy, but Sam was letting Abel set the rules with that. But she could not imagine loving two little boys anymore.

Sam had heard nothing from Jax. She was not sure if she ever would. Sam did not even know if Jax was alive or dead. She searched the internet every day for news from Charming, but so far, there had been nothing. She also did not want to risk their safety by reaching out to anyone in Charming. She just let the boys know that their daddy loved them and would be with them if he could.

"Ok boys, bath night!"

* * *

After Sam tucked the boys in to bed, she went back out on the porch. Thanks to money that Jax and Tara left she was able to renovate the house back to its former glory. She also did not need to work, but she knew she would want to work soon. Sam was not the kind of person to sit back and watch life, she needed to live it. She was seriously thinking about opening a coffee shop in town. But that would have to wait.

Sam sipped sweet tea and rubbed her growing belly. Jax had left her another parting gift. She found out she was pregnant a week after arriving in Savannah. At first she thought it was the stress of the move and the boys that was making her feel so run down, but when she got her first experience with morning sickness; she knew what was causing it. Their little girl would be born in a few months. Abel and Thomas were excited about the thought of having a little sister. Her phone rang and the baby kicked at the same time.

"Ow Sarah Grace, be nice to your Mama."

Sam looked and saw that it was her own Mom calling.

"I am fine and no I am not in labor." She said as she answered the phone.

Sam's family was very welcoming and loving towards Abel and Thomas. At first Abel was very guarded against another grandma like figure, but soon like everything else, he opened his heart up. She finally told her family the truth about Jax and the boys and about Tara's murder. They knew nothing they would say would change how Sam was living her life, so they accepted Sam's new family with no reservations.

"Love, I found the cutest big brother shirts. Do you think Abel and Thomas would want them?"

Sam smiled into the phone and started talking clothing sizes with her mom.

* * *

Sam hung up the phone shortly after and made her way back into the house. She locked the doors and the windows and turned on the security alarm. She went upstairs and checked on Thomas who was sucking his thumb in his crib. Sam could not believe he was almost two. He would be celebrating his birthday before his sister came. Sam was already arranging a little party. She rubbed his blonde hair and turned off the lamp that was on his dresser.

She went into Abel's room next. He was spread out on his bed hugging his bunny. Sam bent down and kissed him. When she went to turn off the light, she glanced at the picture that was on his nightstand. It was the picture of Jax, Tara, Abel and Thomas that had been hanging in his room in Charming. Sam promised Jax that the boys would not forget them and she was going to keep that promise.

She turned off the light in his room and made her way to her bedroom. She got changed into a nightgown and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Sam woke up in a fright.

Without thinking, she got out of bed. Was it a noise that woke her up? Was it Abel or Thomas? She got out of bed and went over to the closet. Being a former agent and now raising the sons of an outlaw, she did not take any chances. She kept a gun in a safe away from the boys. She retrieved her gun and slowly made her way down the hallway. She looked into Thomas's room and saw him still sucking his thumb in the glow of his night lite. She walked a little bit further and could see Abel's foot dangling off the side of his bed.

She relaxed a bit knowing that the boys were safe.

Just as she was about to turn back towards her bedroom, she heard the noise again. It was coming from the outside. She took the safety off her gun and made her way down the stairs. When she got to the hallway, she grabbed one of the burner phones that she had hidden around the house from under the table. She turned it on when she heard a knocking on the door.

She jumped and dropped the phone. And once again, Sarah Grace kicked to let her Mom know that she was there.

"Ow," Sam said again.

Sam picked up the phone and looked out the side window.

"Can you let me in?" she heard Jax say through the closed door.

Without thinking, Sam unlocked the door and opened it. The alarm started blaring since Sam forgot to shut it off. All she could do was stare at Jax who was on the other side of a locked screen door.

"You might want to shut that off before the cops come," he said smiling. "You know, I do have a record."

Sam turned around and put the code into the panel. The alarm silenced and she turned back to Jax. Sam turned on the hallway light. Jax could see her growing belly. The look on his face said it all.

"Sam?" she heard from the top of the stairs.

She took her eyes off of Jax who was still standing on the porch.

"Tommy is crying. We heard a loud noise."

Sam looked down and saw she had her gun and her phone.

"Can you please let me in?" Jax said again.

Sam walked over to the screen door and unlocked it as Jax walked into the house. He put his duffle bag down by Sam's feet and stood in front of her.

"Is it…"

"Her name is going to be Sarah Grace Teller. She will be here in a little less than three months. Abel and Thomas are really excited."

Jax smiled.

"Sarah Grace?"

"Abel wanted to name her after his mom. We thought Sarah Grace was a good way to honor her."

"Sam?" they heard again. This time Abel sounded frightened and they could hear the sound of Thomas crying.

Jax kissed her forehead.

"I'll take care of Abel, you go calm down Thomas."

Jax followed Sam upstairs and to the delighted squeals of Daddy from Abel.

* * *

Abel did not want to go to sleep. He was scared that Jax would not be there in the morning.

"I promise buddy, I am not going anywhere. "he said as he sat on his son's bed. Jax noticed the family picture that was framed on his nightstand. Sam had kept her promise.

Finally sleep won over and Jax left Abel's room.

Jax made his way into Sam's room. He closed the door and took off his clothes and sneakers and climbed into bed.

He wrapped his arms around Sam.

"I finally was able to keep a promise." He said as he rubbed her belly.

"How did you get out?" Sam asked. "Are you really free?"

Jax smile and nodded.

"Chibbs took the president patch. I am free and clear of SAMCRO." He said

"But how…"

Jax kissed her to shush her.

"Just know we have nothing to worry about anymore. I am done with SAMCRO and Charming. We are never going back. You and the boys and now my little girl, you are my home, if you will have me." He said.

Jax did not want to tell her that he had to kill more people to become free. He did not want to tell her that he refused to claim Gemma's body from the morgue and now she is buried in some Potter's Field. He did not want to tell her that he slept at Tara's grave every night until he left. He did not want to tell her how he almost drove head first into a semi, just to end the pain. What saved him was the thought of breaking another promise. He needed to keep his promise to both Tara and Sam. He needed to take care of his boys. So he left Charming. The club let him go with no reservations, but Chibb's promised that there would always be fresh flowers on Tara's grave.

Sam returned the kiss.

"You are home now Jax."

Jax kissed Sam on the lips and started a trail of kisses down to her swollen belly.

"Hi Sarah, I am your daddy. And you are never, ever dating a guy with a motorcycle. "

Sam laughed and spent the rest listening as Jax talked to their daughter.

**Author's Note: I was thinking of ending the story here, but I could not. There are still a few more chapters to go. **


	25. Chapter 25

"So, Ma, if I get accepted to Chapel Hill and complete their Medical Education Development program, I can write my ticket to any medical school."

Sam was smiling as she and Abel were sitting in their kitchen, discussing his post high school plans. He had just come back from visiting University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill and loved it. He felt this was the school that would help him become a pediatric oncologist.

"I think that is a great idea Abel. Whatever you want to do. Your mom made sure that your future would be set, so you can pick any college or medical school you want."

Abel smiled.

"Yea." Abel said. "When is Dad going to be home? Want to tell him all about this."

"He is going to be late tonight actually. He needed to finish that custom Harley job by tomorrow. That reminds me, I am going to bring him dinner to the shop. Sarah will be home soon from Abigail's house. Can you make sure she starts her homework? I won't be long."

"What about Tommy?" Abel said.

Sam sighed.

For a few years after Jax returned, Sam and he thought Abel would be the one to keep an eye on, since he remembered the most about Charming.

They could not have been more wrong.

Since Tommy was 12, he had been butting heads with both Sam and Jax. He was constantly cutting school, getting in fights and even got arrested for vandalism.

Tommy was a 17 year old dangerous mix of Jax's looks and charm combined with Tara's smarts. Unlike Abel who has to study hard for his success, Thomas never opened a book and is still in the top of his class. However his constant cutting and tardiness have him close to failing out.

Jax and Sam had tried everything, punishing, therapy, but, nothing has worked. When Sam came home early from the Coffee Shop she ran in town one day and found Tommy in his bed with a girl that Sam did not recognize, that was when Sam hit the end of her rope. When Sam tried to talk to him, he made sure he told her that she was not his mother.

No words had ever hurt Sam more.

Ever since that day two weeks ago, Tommy and Sam have been avoiding one another. Sam had no clue how to fix the space between them.

"He had after school detention. He should be home shortly. " She said.

She got Jax's plate out of the fridge and started the walk to Jax's shop.

* * *

When Sam arrived at the garage, she saw Jax hard at work. Although he was pushing middle age, Sam was still as attracted to him as she was the day she met him, 13 years ago. His features had soften, but his blue eyes were still piercing and his body was still rock hard.

"Have I ever told you how attracted I am to a man with power tools?" She said.

Jax looked up from the bottom of the Harley and smiled at Sam.

"Have I ever told you how much I love fucking the women who brings me dinner."

Sam walked over and put the plate down on a table.

"Play you cards right tonight and I just may let you." She said, as she knelt on the floor and gave Jax a long kiss.

Their relationship had grown so much over the past 13 years. Sam never tried to compete with Tara's memory. The boys were constantly told stories and that family picture still hung in Abel's room. It took Jax a few years to really allow himself to truly and deeply love Sam. But once he did, he knew Tara would be ok with it. Especially with how happy and safe the boys were.

The one thing he could not do was marry Sam. No matter how hard he thought of it and how many engagement rings he looked at, he just could not do it. He felt that needed to stay with Tara. Tara would always be his wife. Thankfully, Sam never pressured him.

"Is Abel home yet?" he asked as Sam rose from the floor.

"Yup, and he can't wait to tell you about Chapel Hill. I think our son may be a Tar Heel. "

Jax put down his tools and smiled.

"The first Teller man to graduate from college. JT would of loved to see this."

Jax stood up and looked at Sam. She was so beautiful and he loved her. She was a great mom and a great partner to him. He was happy.

"And our middle child," he inquired.

"After school detention."

Jax sighed and put down the wrench that was in his hand. He walked over to Sam.

"Sarah?"

"At Abigail's and coming home shortly. I should get back. I told Abel I would not be long."

Jax grinned at Sam.

"I think you can be a bit longer, " he said as he wrapped his arms around her. He bent down and started kissing her neck.

"Here?' she asked seductively.

Jax pulled back.

"We have a couch, a locked door and no kids around."

Sam looked into Jax's eyes.

"Take off your pants." She said.

* * *

The sound of Sam's cell phone interrupted their post coital bliss.

"Well that was a fun fifteen minutes of uninterrupted time," she said lifting her head up.

She untangled herself from Jax and fished around for her pants that were thrown somewhere.

She found her pants and groaned when she saw the number on her called id.

She looked at Jax, shook her head and answered.

"Hello Sheriff."

"Hi Sam. We have Thomas in custody. "

Sam put her hand up to the receiver and looked at Jax.

"Thomas got arrested again."

Jax got up from the couch and started to get dressed.

"Jesus Christ."

Sam got back on the phone.

"What did he do Sheriff?"

"Public drunkenness and vandalism. We are going to have to keep him tomorrow night. He will need to face the judge in the morning. Sorry Sam."

"It's ok Sheriff, we will be there in the morning. "

Sam hung up the phone and looked at Jax.

"They can't release him until the morning."

Jax looked terrified.

"So he has to spend the night in jail?"

Sam nodded.

Jax sat back down on the couch and put his head into his hands.

"What are we going to do?" he asked Sam.

Sam sat down next to him.

"I have been thinking, we need to tell them the truth. Both of them."

Jax looked at Sam.

"We agreed that Charming and everything stays in the past. They don't need to know..."

"Yes they do Jax. Look at what it is doing to Thomas. He needs to know everything. He needs to know that his mom died for him to have a better life. And Abel, Abel needs to know about Wendy and why we are so protective. They need to know Jax. It is time. We can't keep saying that truth will destroy them. Thomas is destroying himself now."

Jax put his head back in his hands.

"We made an agreement not to tell them. The details of Tara's death and who was responsible were never released to the public. We made that deal to protect them.

Sam looked straight into Jax's eyes.

"We can't hide from the past Jax. It will come out. The diaries of our past will be revealed. I would rather that our sons hear it from us.

Jax took a moment and nodded at Sam.

"Ok. You are right. It is time."

Sam grabbed Jax's hand.

"I'll make the arrangements," she said and stood up.

"Make what arrangements?"

"We need to take them back to Charming."


	26. Chapter 26

"So what is this, some kind of intervention or something?" Thomas asked from the back seat of the car.

"Or something," Jax said as he drove the car.

The _Welcome to Charming_ sign greeted the small family. Sarah had stayed behind with Sam's parents. Charming was not part of her past.

Sam glanced behind her and could see recognition in Abel's eyes. Sam did not question him about his memories. She wanted him to figure it out for himself.

"How long are we here for?" Abel asked.

He was more willing to come on this trip than Thomas. The three of them had picked Thomas up from the jail and drove straight to the airport. Thomas was too hung over to really comprehend what was going on until the plane landed in Stockton. Once Thomas knew where they were going, he refused to get off the plane. Airport security had to escort him off.

"Just until tomorrow," Sam said. "This is just a quick trip."

"So I get arrested and we go to Charming. Was this your idea Sam?" Thomas said with sarcasm.

Since their fight, he no longer called her Ma. Sam tried not to show how much it hurt her. Jax reached over and grabbed her hand in reassurance.

"No Thomas, it was mine. You want to act like your life and your future don't matter. I am going to introduce you to some people who died so you could have a future."

Thomas put on his sunglasses and looked out the window.

"Right Dad, whatever." He said leaning his head back.

Jax pulled down Main St. He drove past the ice cream shop where a dozen of motorcycles were parked outside.

"You want to stop and see Chibs and Tig?" Sam asked.

"No," Jax responded quickly. "I said my good byes 13 years ago. This is not about me."

"Ma, your shop is still here," Abel said from the backseat.

Sam could see the sign for _The Shop. _ She had not stepped foot in there since the night Gemma died. She had not talked to Margaret since she left California.

"Do you want to stop?" Jax asked.

"No, " Sam said. Like Jax, this was not about her. This was about saving her boys.

Jax kept driving.

* * *

Jax pulled into Charming Cemetery and drove their rental car to a familiar spot. More guests had taken up permanent residency, yet it looked the same as the day Sam fell and her world changed.

Jax put the car into park and turned it off. He looked off to the right and let out a heavy breath. Without saying a word, he opened the door. Sam and the boys followed.

Sam closed her door and looked at the confused look on her boys faces. Jax had already started walking.

"Follow your dad, " she said.

Thomas turned to her.

"You not coming?" he asked.

Sam shook her head.

Thomas and Abel followed their father down the hill, while Sam turned her back and went in the opposite direction. She had a few phone calls to make.

* * *

Abel and Thomas caught up to Jax who was standing in front of a grave.

"Dad?" Abel asked.

Jax did not look up from the smooth black stone with the name Harry "Opie" Winston on it.

"His name was Opie. Our father's started SAMCRO. I know I have not talked much about my life in Charming, but SAMCRO was a big part of it. We were a motorcycle club. JT was president and Piney was Vice. They had big things planned for SAMCRO. It was not about being an outlaw. It was supposed to be about a brotherhood and social rebellion. Real hippee shit."

Jax stopped talking and put his hand on Opie's tombstone.

"But than your grandmother Gemma and JT's best friend Clay got together. They had another vision for the club. One that involved money, guns and power. They killed your grandfather to get the club to go in that direction. It was all about power and greed. They were two people who stood for nothing, who took down people who stood for everything."

Abel and Thomas turned and stared at one another. Abel had some vague memories of Gemma, but this was all new to Thomas. Sure they both had some familiarity with SAMCRO, but Jax never talked about it and they knew better than to ask.

Jax turned to both of his boys.

"Gemma and Clay manipulated and killed a lot of people to keep their power. This grave here belongs to Donna, Opie's wife. Clay had her killed by mistake. Thought Opie was going to rat. Killed Donna by accident. Opie's soul died that day. He was a shell of a man after that. Two years later, Opie died in Stockton prison thanks to a pipe to the back of the head. He died so I could live."

Jax turned back to the grave and put his hand on it. He rubbed the top and did the same on Donna's tombstone. Abel and Thomas followed him in stunned silence as he led them to another grave behind Opie and Donna. There a beautiful but simple headstone stood, with a bouquet of fresh wildflowers laid on the grass in front.

Jax bent over and kissed the stone. He put his forehead up against the cool granite.

"Hi Baby," he said. He kissed the stone again and sat on the ground. He turned to face his boys with his back to the headstone.

Abel and Thomas were now standing on their mother's grave. They had not been here since her funeral all those years ago.

"Abel, you always knew that Tara was not your biological mother." Jax stated.

Abel nodded. Although it was not spoken of, he could remember Tara telling him that he did not come from her tummy, like Thomas did. But he never felt any less than her son.

"She told me. But she used to say that although I was not born from her tummy, I was born in her heart. And that made me as much hers as Thomas was."

A lone tear came to Abel's eye as a flood gate of memories opened in his mind. He could almost hear Tara's voice.

_"Oh silly Abel, you are making your mommy laugh."_

Abel wiped away the tear and looked at Jax, who was smiling at his son.

"She was right. She loved you just as much as Thomas.

Jax turned to Thomas.

"We were not in good place when your mom found out she was pregnant with you. Abel, you were kidnapped and taken to Ireland. I was freaking out. I thought by pushing her away, I would let her be free and safe. So I slept with another girl, making sure that Tara found out about it."

Abel and Thomas were shocked by their father's revelation. More shocked that he had cheated on Tara, than Abel being kidnapped. The boys knew that their father worshiped Tara. The thought he would cheat on her almost knocked them over.

"She was on her way to have an abortion when she was kidnapped by an enemy of the club. In the struggle he went to kick her in the stomach and she defended her self. In that moment she realized how much she loved and wanted you. And she fought for you. She even killed someone in self-defense to make sure you were protected. She was a fearless and devoted mother. "

Thomas's knees started shaking and he sunk to the ground. He had no memories of Tara. He made up stories in her head about her, but to hear the truth of her was almost too much to for his heart to handle. Jax continued.

"She was later freed and we went to the hospital to have an ultrasound done. She was so scared she was going to lose you. But you were fine."

Abel moved closer to Thomas. For the first time in years, Thomas did not move away.

"I went to jail. 14 months for a weapons charge. Tara had to fend for herself with two sons, a demanding job and dealing with being an old lady. She did it. But she knew she wanted out. She wanted her boys out. She did not want you two following in my footsteps. Every day she saw what the club did to me. The lies, the violence, the death.

Jax took a breath.

"I have lost count about the number of people I have killed. I did so many horrible things. But Tara believed in me and believed I could be better. She wanted out. She thought we would make it. Gemma killed Tara before she got the chance."

A memory washed over Abel.

_"I am so sorry I killed your Mommy."_

Abel leaned back against a tree.

"Sam came to town to investigate Tara's murder. Some days I feel like Tara sent her so I could fulfill my promise of getting you boys away from the violence and the death. I can't explain it but I trusted her with you boys. I trusted her enough to get you out. And she did. "

Jax leaned his back against the tombstone. He looked at his boys.

"Abel, your biological mom's name was Wendy Case. She was a heroin addict. You almost died at birth because of her drug use. I found out that she died about five years ago. She overdosed. She only held you a few times. She signed custody over to Tara when I was in jail. Tara was your mom until the day she died."

Abel closed his eyes. He did not care about this Wendy person. He did not hear her voice when he closed his eyes.

_"Abel we are going to go on a trip. You need to be a good big brother for Thomas."_

"I overheard Gemma apologizing to Thomas for killing his Mommy. It was a few weeks before we left Charming. " Abel said, staring at Tara's tombstone.

Jax stood up and walked over to Abel.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't remember. I wish I could answer that but I couldn't. I just remember being so mad at her for taking my mom away."

Jax hugged his son, trying to make up for the past that he could not fix.

Abel stepped back from Jax and stared at him.

"You killed her, didn't you Dad? You killed Gemma for what she did to Mom?"

Abel looked into the eyes of his eldest son.

"Yes. She had a gun to Sam's head. Found out she was ATF. I had to kill my mother for the women I love."

Abel nodded, understanding his father's love for his family and why he did what he did.

Jax walked over to Thomas.

"I know you feel like you are lost and no one cares. I know that is why you are acting out. You are more like me than I would wish upon you. But you need to understand, that your mom died because she wanted her sons to grow up in peace and not know the life of chaos that I brought to her."

Thomas could not take his eyes off of Tara's grave.

"Thomas, you look so much like her. You have her brains and her wit. You are Tara's son. I know you have been angry at Sam lately. But she had nothing to do with any of this. She helped me make sure i honored your mother. She got you free. She did not replace Tara. No one can. But it is ok to love her and to have her be your mom. I never thought i could love anyone again after Tara. But I did. It is not the same, it is different. But it is just as special and amazing. There is room in your heart for it."

Thomas just kept staring.

"I have no memories of her. I don't know the sound of her voice. The only mother voice i have i my head is Sam and i feel like I am betraying Mom. I don't know…" Thomas broke down in tears.

Jax took his youngest son in his arms as he cried.

"They only way you could ever betray your mom is if you make her sacrifice for nothing. If you keep going down the road you are going, that will betray Tara."

Thomas looked at his dad and felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulders as the tears continued to fall.

Abel walked over to Tara's grave and picked up the flowers.

"Who?" he asked.

"The club." Jax said as Thomas stopped crying. He backed away from Jax and walked over to the grave. He knelt down and put his hand on the part of Tara's headstone that said "Devoted Wife and Mother".

"I am sorry Mom, I am sorry."

Abel put his hand on Thomas's shoulder. Jax took a step back and let his boys have a moment with their mom.

* * *

"Thanks Don, I will see you tomorrow." Sam said as she hung up the phone.

"Who are you talking to?"

Sam turned around and saw the three Teller men walking towards the car. She could tell they had been crying. She wanted to run and comfort them, but she knew not too.

"Don, my old boss. I am going to go see him tomorrow before we leave."

Jax nodded.

"Want me to come with?"

San shook her head.

"He didn't really like you. And besides, he is sick. Not sure how much time he has left.'

Sam looked at the boys.

"You ok?"

Abel walked up to her and gave her a hug.

"I am good Ma, thanks."

Abel kissed her on the cheek and got into the car. Jax followed. Thomas stood in front of her.

"I am sorry Ma, for everything." He said. "I love you. You know that."

Sam took Thomas in her arms and hugged him tight.

"I know Thomas. I know."

Thomas wiped away the remaining tears and got in the car.

"What time are you going tomorrow?" Jax asked as they drove out of the cemetery.

"Early, but I will be back before we leave for the airport."

Jax reached for Sam's hand.

"Thought I would take the boys to St. Thomas tomorrow. See where Tara worked."

Sam smiled.

"That is a great idea."

Sam looked at Jax and smiled. She hoped that the truth he told her boys set them free.


	27. Chapter 27

The sun was rising when Sam left the motel the next morning. They had spent the night in the motel room, eating pizza and telling stories. The boys heard about her ATF career and about how much Abel loved cookies. Jax talked about SAMCRO and of course of Tara. By time they all feel asleep, Sam had hope that her boys would be ok.

After driving for about two hours, Sam turned down the dusty road and pulled up to a house in the middle of nowhere. She parked her car and got out, not bothering to lock it.

Don opened the door and met her on the porch.

"She is pissed you are here." He said.

"I knew she would be."

Don folded his arms.

"Thomas was that out of control?"

Sam nodded her head.

"I think we reined him in though. He now understands."

Sam walked up the porch steps.

"Where is she?"

Don opened the door.

"In her sitting room. The past few days have been rough for her. The pain is getting worse. Her seizure was so bad yesterday; she didn't get out of bed. "

Don and Sam entered the moderately decorated house. Beautiful paintings lined the walls. But missing were any photographs or other pieces of memorabilia.

"Is she really mad at me?"

Don sat down in a chair in the living room.

"Go see for yourself."

Sam watched as Don picked up a newspaper and she followed the hallway to a closed in porch. The sun was warming the room full of more beautiful paintings. Sam saw a woman in the corner painting. The woman's hand shock as she tried to fill in the sun on her canvas. Sam cleared her throat and the woman put down her brush and turned to Sam.

"Hello Tara," Sam said.

* * *

_After leaving Jax at the cemetery and saying her good bye, Sam drove around and cried until her 8am meeting at Paterson's office. When she arrived, she had just enough time to clean the mascara from her face and pop a piece of gum in her month. _

_She made her way out of her car and saw Don leaning against his. _

_"Hey," he said._

_"Ok, let's get this over with," she said, starting to walk to the office building. _

_"Actually, I need you to take a drive with me first."_

_Sam looked at Don with suspicion. _

_"Where are we going?"_

_"You will see."_

_Don drove Sam out of Stockton and after two hours of twists and turns and back roads, they arrived at a farm house in the middle of nowhere._

_Don parked the car and got out. Sam followed. _

_"What you are going to see here, you will never discuss. You will never tell a soul. Everything that was done, was to protect what is inside of here. Do you understand me?_

_Sam nodded._

_Don opened the front door and led Sam down a long hallway to a closed in porch. A nurse met them at the door._

_"She is having a good day today. She is actually happy to meet you Ms. Heading."_

_The nurse walked back towards the kitchen._

_Sam looked at Don._

_"Who is happy..?"_

_Don walked into the room and Sam once again followed._

_A woman with bandages around her head and long cut down her face greeted them from a hospital bed._

_"So," the woman said softly and with a slur. "You are the agent in love with my husband."_

* * *

"Why did you come back?" Tara asked, softly and with a more pronounced slur. The scar down her face had faded but was still visible. The attack had left her paralyzed and with severe nerve damage. She was 50% blind in one eye and had constant seizures, but Tara Knowles-Teller survived the attack. It was not until the EMT's took her out of Jax's grip that night, that they found a very faint pulse. Patterson and Don wanted her to stay "dead" until they knew who attacked her. She regained conscience three days later.

"Thomas was a mess. He needed to know the truth. Well, the truth I am allowed to tell."

Tara wheeled over to Sam and motioned to her to sit in a chair.

* * *

_"How are you alive?" Sam asked shockingly, staring at Tara. "I saw pictures."_

_"Photoshop is amazing." She said. _

_"What about the other cops and stuff?"_

_Don looked at Sam._

_"All of them were ATF. Once we knew Tara was alive we took her right away. We knew she was in danger so we thought it would be better if she was thought to be dead. At that point we did not know if Jax was behind the attack. We brought her right away to our facility in Stockton. When she woke up, we gave her the choice. She thought it would be better to stay dead."_

_"Why are you doing this for Tara? Is she going WITPRO?"_

_Tara and Don looked at one another._

_"The only other people who know that Tara is alive are Patterson and that nurse out there. Patterson felt obligated to keep her safe. She failed. Call it her way of making amends. "_

_"My father left me insurance money that I never touched. Plus what I saved trying to get out. It is enough to keep me here," Tara stated._

_"What about Gemma?" Sam asked._

_Tara looked at her._

_"She did attack me and Juice did kill Roosevelt. But we just put the clues out there for you to find, and you did."_

* * *

"Have you been getting my letters and pictures?" Sam asked.

Tara nodded. She pointed to a small box under her easel.

"Every one. Is Abel really going to medical school?"

"Yes, it looks like University of North Carolina. He wants to be a pediatric oncologist."

Although the attack left her unable to fully smile, you could see the proud glow in her eyes.

"Tommy?" Tara asked.

"A dangerous combination of you and Jax. But I think we got him now. He wants to make you proud."

Again, the proud glow returned.

"And my namesake?"

Tara knew about Sarah. It was in one of Sam's first letters that she let Tara know she was pregnant and Abel's choice for a name.

"Doing well in school and happy with her acting classes. She is a bit of a drama queen though.

"So she is a bit like her grandmother."

Sam looked at Tara.

"Oh good God no."

Tara closed her eyes and when she opened them, she asked the next logical question.

"And Jax?"

Sam gave her a small smile. This was always the part that made Sam feel horrible.

"He is good. Working at his shop and staying out of trouble. "

Tara nodded.

* * *

_"Why are you not telling Jax you are alive?"_

_Tara sat herself up and looked at Sam._

_"He was never going to leave. My boys were going to be raised in this chaos. He needed something to scare him. To push him out. This was the only thing that would work. Even if he took the deal and went to jail, do you honestly think Gemma would have let me leave with those boys? I was dead the moment I mentioned leaving. "_

_"But Gemma is dead. You are free."_

_Tara took a breath and stared at Sam._

_"It is a miracle I survived. The pain is constant and one of these days, the seizures are going to get too strong to control. Gemma did kill me. My day of death is still just TBD."_

_The talking was starting to take a toll on Tara, but she continued._

_"If I show up alive now, Jax will be even more destroyed. And my boys will never leave Charming. This was the only way my boys would get out. And you are going to help make that happen."_

* * *

"How are you doing, Tara?"

Tara looked down at her hands.

"The pain is getting worse and the seizures are becoming more uncontrollable. The doctor says there really isn't more they can do for me. It is a miracle I survived this long."

"I am so sorry." Sam said.

Tara took her shaking hand and put it on Sam's.

"I am not. Look at my boys. Abel is going to be a doctor. Tommy is going to head down the right path. Jax is alive. We always knew none of us would make it out of Charming whole. My boys did. That is all I care about."

A tear fell down Sam's face.

"It is not fair."

Tara wheeled away from Sam.

* * *

_"Wait what?" Sam said._

_"You have slept with my husband, haven't you?"  
Sam's face turned bright red._

_"You love him don't you?"_

_Sam could not answer Tara._

_"Jax trusts you, I know that. I know him. He has no one else to take those boys. Don here is going to put a bug in his ear about social services and finding an appropriate guardian. I know he will ask you."_

_Sam looked at Tara._

_"How do you know this?"_

_Tara looked straight in Sam's eyes._

_"I know Jax."_

* * *

"No, it's not fair. But my boys are not SAMCRO and not in danger. That is all I care about."

Tara turned and studied her painting. They were both quiet for a few moments.

"He won't marry me," Sam said. "You are his wife."

Tara looked at Sam.

"Well good thing. He would be a bigamist."

Sam chuckled.

Tara wheeled back to Sam.

"I don't have much time left. I am getting real tired and the pain is becoming unbearable some days. My boys are safe. Jax is happy. You have been a good mother."

Sam grabbed Tara's hands.

"I need you to leave now and not come back. "

"Tara…"

"You have helped save my boys. Thank you. "

Tara removed her hands from Sam and wheeled back towards her easel.

"They are my boys and I am there mother. I know that. But being a mom is not always getting what you want. It is about making sure your kids have the best life they can. If you have done that, than you have succeeded as a parent. I have done that. My boys are safe, loved and happy. When my time comes, I will go with no regrets."

Sam stood from the chair and walked over to Tara.

"I will never be half the mother you are, "she said.

Tara turned and faced her.

"No, you won't be. But you will be the mother they need. "

And with that Tara turned to her easel and tried to finish her painting.

* * *

_"Please Sam, I need you to do this. You love my husband and you love my sons. Please, help me get them the hell out of here."_

_Sam turned to Don._

_"When you get back you are going to go to Patterson's office and we will have our meeting. She knows I am telling you about Tara, but you will never discuss it with her. You will be given the credit of solving two murders; however you will resign from the Bureau. You will be given all rights and privileges of a retired agent. After that, return to Seattle and wait for your instructions._

_Sam was too shocked to even think._

_She turned to look back at Tara, who now had her eyes closed and was drifting off to sleep. _

_"Ok," Sam said. "I'll do it."_

* * *

Sam walked down the stairs with Don and back to her car.

"Do you ever get tempted to tell Jax?"

Sam shook her head.

"No. This was her sacrifice for her sons. I will never take that away from her."

Don nodded.

"Her seizures are getting progressively worse. Her doctor was here yesterday. Doesn't think she will make it longer than a month."

Tears filled Sam's eyes.

"Make sure she is buried in Charming. I will make sure Jax is buried next to her. "

Don nodded.

Sam opened her car door.

"I want to know, when it happens."

"I will call you."

Sam hugged Don.

"Think it is time you put these ghosts to bed now Sam. Leave here and don't come back. Close the diary. It is done." Don said.

Sam smiled.

"I know."

With that, she got in her car and drove away.

* * *

Tommy was putting the suitcase outside the motel room door when Sam pulled up.

"Hey Ma, did you see your old friend?"

Sam went over and wrapped her arms around him.

"I did. He is not doing too well. Might not make it longer than a month." She said.

"Bummer. Does he have family?"

Sam nodded.

"Two sons. He was a great parent. Sacrificed more for his family than they will ever know."

"Sounds like a good guy."

Sam hugged Tommy harder.

"He was the best," she said with tears coming back to her face.

"Um, Ma? You ok?"

Sam realized she had Tommy in a death grip. She let go and wiped away her tears.

"I am fine. Finish loading the car. We have a plane to catch. Where is Abel?"

"Getting snacks from the gas station. Dad is in the room."

Sam smiled at Tommy and walked into the room.

Jax was tying his sneakers.

"Hey Beautiful." He said.

"Hi." She said leaning against the door.

"How is Don?"

"Ok."

Jax could sense that she did not want to talk more.

"Ready to get out of here?" he said.

Sam walked over to Jax and wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you," she said. "I hope I helped give you and the boys a good life."

Jax looked at her, surprised at what she said, but understanding why she had to say it.

"Ya know, I never loved you like Tara. And I didn't love Tara like you. It took me a long time to realize that I could love two women two completely different ways. You both made my life amazing. You both gave me beautiful children. I am a lucky man."

Sam stood on her tip toes and kissed Jax.

"Ok if you two are going to do that, I am calling a taxi." Tommy said from the door way.

Sam and Jax laughed.

Jax picked up the suitcase and turned to Sam.

"Come on, let's leave the old ghosts here and go home."

And with that Sam did what Tara always wanted her to do; got their boys free and clear of Charming.


	28. Chapter 28

Epilogue

When the box came to the coffee shop a month later, Sam was not surprised. Don had called her a week ago and let her know that Tara finally passed. She was buried in her grave in Charming, where she would wait for Jax. Sam had Jax in life. Tara would have him in death.

Sam saw the return address and let out a sad breath. She knew that this was Tara's last gift to her. Quickly she opened the box, all the letters and pictures that Sam had sent over time were now being returned. Picking up the packet of pictures, Sam saw the painting that Tara was working on during their last visit: A beautiful sunset over the Savannah River.

Through tear filled eyes, Sam stared at the painting. She picked it out of the box and pulled it close to her heart and noticed a folded up piece of paper taped to the back.

Sam wiped away the tears and opened the piece of paper.

In barely legible print was a simple message. Sam smiled when she read it and knew that finally, Tara was at peace.

_A mother's work is never done. A mother's love is never ending. Thank you. _

Sam put down the note and went to look for a spot to hang the beautiful painting.


End file.
